The Exit

A group that is all about the cheery subject of death. Let's talk about the inevitable event and help each other deal with it.

Members: 62
Latest Activity: Mar 15

Discussion Forum

How doctors die

Started by Buford Twain. Last reply by Joan Denoo Mar 21, 2016. 2 Replies the article:"It’s not a frequent…Continue

Tags: death

Body Disposal Carbon Footprint

Started by Ruth Anthony-Gardner. Last reply by Ruth Anthony-Gardner Mar 13, 2016. 10 Replies

You could drive almost 4,800 miles on the energy used to cremate one person.This surprised me. I'd imagined cremation as green, since it doesn't compete with food production, or require mowing grass…Continue

Tags: carbon footprint of body disposal

Death with Dignity (Physician assisted death)

Started by Daniel W. Last reply by kathy: ky May 5, 2014. 4 Replies

Oregon and Washington both have laws in place allowing suicide by lethal prescription, so-called physician-assisted suicide.  These laws are known as Death with Dignity.  Oregon State published FAQs…Continue

Tags: Death with Dignity

Dead Celebrities

Started by Buford Twain Mar 24, 2013. 0 Replies

There's a web site for just about anything...…Continue

Einstein's death

Started by Buford Twain Feb 14, 2013. 0 Replies

from wikipedia's article on Einstein:On 17 April 1955, Albert Einstein experienced internal bleeding caused by the rupture…Continue

Tags: death

Locked-in syndrome sufferer Tony Nicklinson dies after losing appeal for assisted suicide

Started by Buford Twain. Last reply by Grinning Cat Aug 22, 2012. 1 Reply

Interesting how we don't yet have the right to call it quits...(in most countries).…Continue

Tags: suicide, assisted

Natural Burial Info - an alternative to casket burial or cremation

Started by Buford Twain. Last reply by Valerie Cantone Dec 13, 2011. 3 Replies

Here is a description of natural burial from"A modern natural burial is an environmentally sustainable alternative to…Continue

51 hours left to live

Started by Buford Twain. Last reply by Scary Guy Mar 6, 2011. 1 Reply

An "ask me anything" discussion thread started by a person dying soon of terminal cancer.If you have a question now's the time to ask it. …Continue

Burial at sea - from Maine to Miami

Started by Daniel W. Last reply by Daniel W Sep 5, 2010. 2 Replies

Given how much we remove from the sea, it's nice to see some people returning there. …Continue

Walmart caskets?

Started by Buford Twain. Last reply by Buford Twain Sep 5, 2010. 3 Replies

Walmart is selling caskets now (at their online store):…Continue

Tags: caskets

Comment Wall


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Comment by Randall Smith on March 21, 2016 at 7:08am

Nice story, Donald. How long ago did this happen?

Comment by Donald L. Engel on March 21, 2016 at 12:28am

My mother moved into a full-care facility during her last two years.  She was entering into dimentia when she moved in.  After about a year, she was well into the dimentia, and my sister heard that if you give a doll to a woman in this stage, it seems to calm them down.  So, she brought mom a little boy doll, and sure enough it worked.  She explained that the little boy saw her, and loved her and wanted to live with her.  Mom accepted that without question.  So my sister wheeled her out into the general area.  Just then the lady in the adjoining room was coming out, and she said, "Oh, what a beautiful baby.  Who's the father?"  Mom's jaw dropped into her lap, and she never talked to that woman again.  She named the doll "Skookum".  She loved the doll, and would make comments like "He's been so fidgety today, I don't know why."  and we always knew what she had for dinner, because she was always trying to feed it to Skookum.  She had said several times that when she died, she wanted Skookum to be buried with her.

So, when she died, she was cremated, and I took the doll and cut the rubber feet, hands, and head off, and then burned the body in a coffee can.  We mixed the ashes of the doll with mom's ashes and put them all in an urn that I made out of walnut wood.

My step dad had died earlier, and his ashes were in a vault in a wall.  So when it was time to put Mom's ashes there, we opened the vault, and my sister said, "Hi, Dave, here's mom,  she'll explain the kid,"  And then we all had a good laugh.

That might sound cold to some of you, but it wasn't.  Mom would have loved it.  She was a real cut-up, and enjoyed things like that.  She died at 96, and was active right up to when she went into the home.

Comment by kathy: ky on March 15, 2016 at 12:52pm
Bart, that's to funny.
Comment by Anthony Shaw on March 15, 2016 at 12:39pm

Hi Daniel, my memory of the painkillers when I was in hospital was just as you noted - they didn't work. That said I was in more pain after the 3 operations than I was before.

I had managed to go to work for two days following the attack, and managed to make the train journey home from Paris (where I was working) to Frankfurt. If you avoided walking too much, you could live with it, and my brain was totally unaffected.

I was on the verge of going back to Paris on the Sunday but my wife insisted upon me going to hospital first (for her own peace of mind!). I never made it back to Paris (to work at least).

As for doctors dying - interesting piece. They know what is possible, and I have always stated that quality of life is more important than just surviving (that said, my 90-year-old aunt is a stubborn old lady who defies all the odds, they won't operate on her any more, she hardly ever leaves her wheelchair - she has even learned to cook while in it - but she won't go quietly .....).

Comment by Bart Nedelman on March 15, 2016 at 12:27pm

Zach is a piece of work. I did tell him that I found god one time, during the 2008 elections, in a series of emails. It went like this:

Bart: "Ok, I’ll admit it. I did acquire an unreserved faith in God, once. I never told you that. It happened when I had a near-death, white light experience the time they had to re-start my heart with the paddles.

Out of the darkness – I think I had died, they later told me so – a brilliant white light appeared and moved towards me, becoming brighter and brighter until it filled my entire consciousness with a dazzling warmth. I felt the most sublime sensation of goodness, a loving presence surrounding me, a oneness with the universe. Then the light slowly moved away from me, and paused, as if beckoning me to follow. So I did. I followed the warm, brilliant white light as if through a tunnel - it was so incredibly beautiful and I really thought God was showing me the way to heaven.

Zach: Wow! What was it like??!!

Bart: There was a voice, too, rising and falling, rising and falling in a kind of sing-song cadence. I could, I could hear the words, but trying as hard as I could, I couldn’t make any sense out of the words. I was in a state of bliss that I’ve never experienced before. As the incredible comforting white light surrounding me slowly became less intense and cleared, I found myself in a White Castle restaurant during a Tea Party rally somewhere in South Carolina, with Sara Palin ranting in that hellish, sing-song twang of hers. I decided to return.

I came to realize that God in Her infinite wisdom had given me a glimpse of the hell awaiting me as a warning to vote for Obama if I wanted to avoid Palin in the afterlife, but even more importantly, if I wanted to avoid Sarah Palin in this life."

Zach: You can be such an asshole, at times.

Comment by Anthony Shaw on March 15, 2016 at 10:18am

I nearly died once - after my second operation in 2008 following my heart attack I was in a coma for nearly two days. No views of heaven (not sure what it is supposed to look like anyway - a load of angels sitting  on clouds playing harps?). No, none of those, nor of hell (no blazing fires and a strange guy with horns and a tail wearing a tight red one-piece suit and carrying a large three-pronged fork? 'Fraid not). 

Just nearly two days of perfect, painless, uninterrupted sleep. Woke up to a violent throbbing pain in my chest and my breathing blocked by a large object in my mouth which I tried to move (well, you need to be able to breathe, right?) - within 5 seconds virtually every nurse in Germany (or so it seemed) was on top of me in a very agitated state. 

And then back to sleep for another day or so while they operated again. Still no angels, still no strange guy with horns and a tail and a three-pronged fork....

Comment by Bart Nedelman on March 15, 2016 at 8:02am

My brother was infected with the god-virus late in life (Catholic, of all things) and told me I would not see heaven.

I replied: Oblivion is the bookends of our life. (those singular subjects with plural objects never sound right).

After some back and for I asked him how much Jesus had charged him for his frontal lobotomy and it went downhill from there. 

Comment by Randall Smith on March 14, 2016 at 7:27am
Donald, your definition of soul is as good as any other.
Comment by Donald L. Engel on March 14, 2016 at 2:08am

IThis is my idea of what the sould is.  It’s a person’s basic thought process.  Does the person normally have a happy disposition?  Or not?  Does the person usually volunteer to help others?  Is the person good with children?  Is the person demanding?  Is the person polite?  The soul is the person.  It’s his thought process.  Or, at least what we see of the person’s thought process.

Comment by Randall Smith on March 13, 2016 at 7:46am

I didn't know this site existed, and at my age, I might as well join. However, it's my understanding that when one dies, "you can't take it with you". Therefore, I'm not going!


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