Jolly good show. I am a hyperpragmatic super-syncretist and I am happy to join your group AND the spaghetti monster group because I don't really give a toss about any supernaturalistic beliefs - I just want to help you control people! You spag mon and pink unicorn types have a bit to learn about bending the heads of the masses, however. I have not had time to pen up an original plan for you, but I would like to present for your consideration a very old document, hidden in my foot locker for many days and previously posted to another site protected by various googly voo and hoopdy doo rituals with some icky threats. Perhaps you could follow the example of these fine theological meme-programmers to increase the efficacy of your religious meme, and really make the programming stick baby. You guys simply don't pre-demonise and pre-vilify non-believers and those pesky bloody atheists enough. Don't even get me started on the skeptics and philosophers - man they really cock up the system (and put a big dent in your profits!) Anyway, for you consideration:
Ye Instructiones for ye Development of ye Mighty Inscribed Whole-Lie ‘Buyeth-Bull Code’ for ye Programming of ye Young and Ye Credulous by ye Old and ye Power Hungree
I. Ensureth thee that no peasant member of ye multitude shallst be taught to read, lest see-eth they sense and ignoreth thou ‘Buy-Bull Code’. No one not one of us shallst be taught to readeth lest they becometh programmers as we ourselves, or else accepteth the formula of faith (See-est thou VI.)
II. Ye freethinkers and lovers of reason and ye rationalitee (also knewn as ye philosophes) shallst recognise and revealest thou and thou code as full of the casts of the golden cow. Such individuals shouldst be demonstiferised and cast in ye likeness of very bad personage. No personage bad enough existeth (aside from we ourselves) and so refer ye thou to ye rules for evilification and devilification (see-est thou IV.)
III. Ye sceptical are likewise to be cast well in ye likeness of very bad personage. Thou shalt pretendeth the reality of ye devilification and deem-monsterfication (see-est thee thou IV. )
IV. The code shallst enforce pre-evilification of thou enemies – especially ye incredulous and ye sceptical (seest the thou II. and III.) Evilification of ye freethinker and ye skeptic shall be primarily implemented in ye code as devilification. Ye metaphor of ye ‘Devil’ shallst be encoded in ye narrative and shallst be systematically re-ified, and ye nature of ye ‘Devil’ shallst embraceth incredulity of ye Buy-Bull Code and especially of ye formula of faith (See-est thee thou VI.)
V. Thou shalt be ever watchful for incredulity. The code shouldest pre-evilify incredulity of ye Buy-Bull Code.
VI. Ye power of ye Buy-Bull Code shallst be primarily advanced by ye formula of faith:
a. (FOF) (Ye ridiculous quasi-historical and pseudo –historical fiction) + (Absence of ye evidence contraree) = Ye Truthe
VII. Ye Whole-lie Buy-Bull Code shallst encode ye fiction of ye Hot/Harsh Environment for Lovers of Lucid Logic (noteth thou: H-E-L-L-L henceforth.) H-E-L-L-L shallst be ye fictive home of ye fictive ‘Devil’, and shallst therein be-eth for ye logical and lucid – ye lucid be it for. Lucid-for shallst thus be-eth ye synonime for ‘Devil’.
VIII. Continued contradiction of ye most hole-ly Buy-Bull Code, despite ye implementation of devilification, and threat of ye fictional Harsh Environment for Lovers of Lucid Logic, and any cunning evilification thatst thou canst devise, shallst result in ye execution – not of ye Whole-lie – but of ye sceptical individual. Ye Whole-lie programmers prefer ye painful method of execution, for cranky and mean are we.
IX. Ye Whole-lie Buy-Bull Code shallst be fed to all young and unsuspecting at ye earliest opportunity.