Men overly obsess about this sort of thing, yeah. But you can go way too far in the long direction. Jabbing a girl in the cervix is problematic. You need to adjust your technique for being really long, just as you have to adjust your technique for being really short.
Likewise, being too girthy can cause problems. Guys just need to learn to work with what they have. Worst case, I doubt many women (or guys) would complain too much about someone overcompensating by getting really good at oral sex.
Very well said, Joseph P.
'They' tell us to not talk about politics or religion.
Why do 'they' NOT tell us to not talk about sex?