Atheist Humor

This is the place to post that hilarious irreligious YouTube video, an irreverent, anti-religious cartoon, or other humorous bit of media. Posts that do not reflect an atheist/irreligious theme will be deleted. (Don't make me go Old Testament.)
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  • Idaho Spud

    Thanks Joan.  They may be my favorites.

    Rockytij, I like your proselytizer for Neptune.

  • Chris Dodds


  • Joseph P

    Poseidon had no spawn, only a great prophet.

    Neptune swam among us as a fish, was caught, and 3 days later submerged from the bright above.

  • Tony Carroll

  • rockytij

  • Pat

  • rockytij

  • Tor Hershman

    Monty Python's official sites yesterday confirmed that moi IS on the


    Wonder why???

  • rockytij

    The alternative interpretation to "Jesus IS LORD" is "JIS LORD" which means "Jizz Lord" which means "Semen Lord".

    Maybe my mind is just much deeper in the gutter than normal folks. :o)

  • Mark heartwell

    The biggest dick wins ....only if their being pricks about it and deceiving people into believing that they arent really dick heads..far from it
    But just tipical dinks with the basic cocky attitudes in which case that would make them politions or just fundamentaly a cloister of saintly wieners thinking they are absolutely in the right to screw someone
  • rockytij

  • John Gahagan

    From communion to the candy store but always in public policy the message seems to be "Bite Me!"

  • The Flying Atheist

    LOL  Good one, John.  And don't forget the toast. 

  • Grinning Cat

    That "JESUS I could use a chocolate bar" is great!

    On a serious note, on "Jewish faith condemns Christians and Muslims for not sharing the same belief":

    Actually, traditional theistic Judaism [not redundant; see, e.g.,] teaches that it's fine to not be Jewish.

    It does teach that all people should follow the seven laws of the "descendants of Noah" to be assured of a place in the World to Come, the final reward of the righteous.

    The Noahide Laws have their share of religious arbitrariness: they prohibit idolatry, blasphemy, and adultery / "sexual immorality", as well as prohibiting murder, theft, and cruelty to animals (eating flesh taken from a living animal), and requiring the establishment of just laws (setting up courts of justice). They have been variously interpreted and subdivided to imply other rules, somewhat parallel to some Christians' expansion of the Ten Commandments (e.g. "honor your father and your mother" implying "obey all in lawful authority").

  • Idaho Spud

    Oh! That's the chocolate bar joke! :)  I couldn't figure it out because I never got in the habit of using the word "Jesus" as an exclamation or a swear word.

  • Grinning Cat

    Does rightwing Christianity lead to apostrophe abuse?

    Why do you [heart] the devil? / Homo's / Druggies / Gangster's / Feminist's / Mormon's / Buddhist's / Drunkard's / Bahi's / Catholic's / Wifebeater's / Atheist's / New Ager's / Democrat's / Environmentalist's / P.K's / Abortionist's / Effeminate men / Racist's / Scientologist's / Emo's / Covernment recipient's / Adulterer's / Fornicator's / Thieve's / Gambler's / Muslim's / Jehovah's Witness's / Pervert's / Idolater's / Pagan's / Loud mouth women / Agnostic's / Liar's / Freeloader's / Liberal's / High fullutent / Sophisticated swine / Sport's nut's / Repent and believe in Jesus

  • Ruth Anthony-Gardner

    So Xian memes erode reason and grammar simultaneously.

  • The Flying Atheist

    What is "P.K's" on that sign?  Preacher's Kids?

  • Future

    Shouldn't it say "Loud Mouth Wome'n"?

  • Joan Denoo

    ɟǝןıx dǝʇɹɐɹ , the video clip showing a priest and atheist boxing is if it were funny. I challenge the humor; it isn't funny. It is stupid, ridiculous, obnoxious, and solves nothing. When they get done, what do they have to show for their energy exertion? Black eyes? bruises? Who wins? the better boxer? 

    Oh well, this shows, just one more time, I have no sense of humor, I do have a sense of practicality. What works when in a discussion with a priest? Nothing! So, knock the dust off your sandals and go your own way. 

    Terry Groff, of course I noticed this is called "Atheist Humor". Now show me some. 

    rockytijm I was not offended. I just think humor is an excellent way to express principles. This one did no such thing. So, everyone thought it was funny, does that mean I should have found it so?

  • Joseph P

    the video clip showing a priest and atheist boxing is if it were funny. I challenge the humor; it isn't funny. It is stupid, ridiculous, obnoxious, and solves nothing. When they get done, what do they have to show for their energy exertion? Black eyes? bruises? Who wins? the better boxer?

    That's kind of the point.  The joke is that it's a metaphor for what it's like arguing with some believers.  It's just a pointless slap fight, which solves nothing.  That's the joke.

  • Joan Denoo

    Grinning Cat, now, this is what I call funny!  It reveals lack of education,  it implies a person who has trouble expressing him/herself and does not mind revealing his unsophistication. The poor sot believes superstitions and propaganda. 

    "Why do you love the devil?"

    Because of homos? government recipients? adulterers? gangsters, etc., etc.

    Spelling errors, punctuation errors, and reasoning errors. Can't get much funnier than that!

  • Joan Denoo

    Joseph P, I get your point. I come from a very different place when it comes to physical or emotional fighting. So, I can always delete such depictions and read on and whoever finds it funny can laugh. I cringe.
  • Joseph P

    Well, you won't understand most comedy, until you learn to laugh at suffering.  The best comedy is directed at ourselves.

  • Joan Denoo

    Maybe that explains why humor involving pain is not funny to me. Laugh at suffering? Why? What is the point? What is there about pain that is funny? 

  • Joseph P

    The emotional release from that suffering.

  • Joan Denoo

    Being an observer of others' pain and using it as a comedy device just seems barbaric to me. Are we not more advanced as human beings than that? Release of whose suffering? 
    If we observe a victim of religion doctrine, and make a joke of it, how are we to be a source for enlightenment? It is not the observer of suffering to whom we should cater; it is the sufferer who needs the relief. Do you think the raping priest should be entertained, or the rape victim who should be empowered?   

  • rockytij

    Joan, to each his/her own as far as comedy goes. I found the slap-fight staged and silly, but worth a chuckle given an invented/assumed context.  It didn't look to me like anyone was injured or harmed at all.  If you're looking for advanced concepts to yeild enlightenment, relieve suffering, or solve the ills of the world, perhaps this group isn't the place to look.

       The Jackass series of movies were moderately successful.  So, apparently, some percentage of people do find stupidity, pain, and injury to be entertaining.

        Again, if you were offended by the slap-fight gif, I apologize.

  • rockytij

  • Joseph P

    Are we not more advanced as human beings than that?

    Look around at the human race and see if you can ask that again with a straight face.

  • Joseph P

    If we observe a victim of religion doctrine, and make a joke of it, how are we to be a source for enlightenment?

    For one thing, mockery is a great way of shaming people for doing stupid things and getting them to cut that shit out.  That can lead to enlightenment.

    It is not the observer of suffering to whom we should cater; it is the sufferer who needs the relief. Do you think the raping priest should be entertained, or the rape victim who should be empowered?

    Actually, I have a few priest-molestation jokes in my routine.  I was raised Catholic, so it's topical.  The same thing applies there.  Abusing the Catholic church for the evils they commit is a good way to get it out there in the public consciousness.  Biting humor can be a good way to accomplish that.

  • Loren Miller

    Okay ... just WHAT does god have against bags? [and yes, I DO get the WBC reference!]

  • Joseph P

    That bag is made of linen and wool, woven together.

  • rockytij

    How does Moses make his tea?
    Hebrews it.
    Jew kiddin' me.
    No, isreali how he does it.
    Are you Syrias?
    I cannan tell a lie.

  • Loren Miller

    Moses was in de Nile about his costs
    and Egypt Pharaoh
    ... or something like that.

  • Joan Denoo

    That is funny! I "suck the life out of comedy and made baby Jesus cry!" So, with this reputation you ask that I show you some real comedy? It is very easy to block me.
  • David W

    I asked myself the same question, Patricia. I say we just move on to something else.

  • Joan Denoo

    Joseph P, you proved me wrong! I yield to your points on ridicule of the RC church and their many nonsensical principles.

    ɟǝןıx dǝʇɹɐɹ , I yield to you as well. I am a "Christmas grudge". The last group I need to belong to is "Humor". What others see as funny, I perceive as asinine. So, Bye bye.
  • Dominic Florio

    I love to laugh and the more irreverant the better.  The atheist/priest fight didn't make me laugh, but who cares.  If I were to find something offensive here, I would express my opinion about it, but that is the end of it.  Have you ever told a joke and it fell flat because of the way you told it, or your audience who didn't like it?  That's life.  I say move on.  Believe me, I am not shy about my opinions, but I don't think it is a big deal and we shouldn't be debating what's funny.  Some will like it and some won't ans each camp should express their opinions.

    There is nothing funny about child molestation for example, but given the right audience, one of my "favorite" jokes is about child molestation.  Not because molestation is funny, but the irreverance of the joke are shocking, and sometimes, shock can be funny.

    At the same time, one of my favorite comedians is Mae West.  She never said a "dirty" thing in her life, but the censors were after her all of the time.  "It's not what I say, but the way that I say it."


    While FUCK for example is in no way offensive to me, I do not enjoy comedians who use it as every other word.  To me it shows a lack of creativity and imagination.  Yet I can laugh and cringe at a molestation joke.

    It's all a matter of taste.

  • Joan Denoo

    Dominic, excellent points! Of course you are right. We need not debate what is funny, even if that debate is interesting. I can't even imagine and don't want to try to find something funny about child molestation. If the molested child can be given a tool to overcome his/her challenges, then I would be all for that. Or if a battered wife could recognize what a bully she had for a husband, I could go with that. Thanks!

  • Joan Denoo

    script for cartoon:

    Husband: “When I get mad at you, you never seem to get upset. How do you manage to control your temper?”

    Wife: “I just go and clean the toilet.”

    Husband: “How does that help?”

    Wife: “I use your toothbrush.”

  • Dominic Florio

    OK, I'm going to reproduce the joke, but please people, I have worked with animals and children all of my life.  What is "funny" about this, is not the subject, but how it is turned into something unexpected.  As I said, it made me cringe and laugh at the same time.

    The humor of something also depends on when, where, and how it is told, and it also depends on many other factors.  I mean knock-knock jokes aren't so funny, but get people in a silly mood and everyone will be cracking up.

    It reminds me of the movie, The Aristrocrats.  If I told one of the jokes from the movie, many would not find it funny.  But I was laughing throughout the movie.



    A child molester and a little girl were walking towards the woods at dusk.

    The little girl says, "Mister, I'm getting scared."

    The child molester says, "How do you think I feel?"  "I have to walk back in the dark, alone."


    DON'T SHOOT ME!  I'm a nice person.

    It's not the molestation that's funny, but the fact that the joke calls for us to shift our sympathies somewhere unexpected. 

  • Terry Groff

    I used to spend some late nights at a Denny's hanging with a cop that worked security there for extra cash. I told him the joke that Dominic Florio just told and he about fell out of his chair with laughter. I also so told him another much worse joke that he also made him howl with laughter.

    I just visualized what that joke would look like in print and I know it would not have the same effect as telling it live.

  • Joseph P

    Actually, my priest molestation humor isn't even as tasteless as the one Dominic just shared.  One is a brief throwaway, commenting that I wasn't molested, while I was an altar boy, because I was an ugly child.

    The other priest molestation jokes are at the end of my growing-up-Catholic part, in which I'm musing how I would organize and keep my Satanic priesthood in line, if I was the anti-Christ, and how I would have one up on the Catholic church, in many areas.

  • rockytij

  • Dominic Florio

    I went to Catholic schoo but was never an altar boy. 

    Imagine someone arguing, "What's wrong with me, why wasn't I molested?"  It's something I could imagine from a modern Seinfeld episode.

    It's a funny thought.  In no way does it take away from the serious issue of molestation and the church hiding it.

    Humor is a release from a lot of bad stuff.  I will or will not be upset about a racist joke, depending on who is telling it.  Are they playing on stereotypes for humor, or do they believe what they are saying?

  • rockytij

  • Joseph P

    And yeah, Dominic, I'm all for free use of whatever language someone wants to use, but profanity and vulgarity should be used as an exclamation point.  If you insert it into every other sentence, it becomes meaningless.

    I have one bullshit and two fucks, in my hour and a half or so of material.  Everything else is "freaking", "damn", or a throaty non-verbalization, like "Gyaaacchhh".

  • Andrew Hall

    A small group of my friends and I wrote a post titled What would you put in the Bible?

  • The Flying Atheist

    The good thing about child molesters is that they drive slower in school zones.