Joseph P

40, Male

Raleigh, NC

United States

Comment Wall:

Load Previous Comments
  • Jodi Nautilus

    No worries,  weekends are built for tuning out. heh.

    And yeah, my parents are divorced. Have been since I was a baby. My dad's path was definitely louder and what I identified with most when I was among the Theist's ranks.  

    The experience of coming out of indoctrination is a rocky one.  Cause I was deep into the faith game. But what got me out, was ... well,  being in college AWAY from my parents, I was free to question things.  It lead me down a path of paganism,  and then later non-theism. I still respect the Earth and think we should take care of it,  so I took that aspect of 'paganism' with me, but none of the gods or goddesses truly felt right. 

    I still struggle with the more subtle conditioning/programming of being indoctrinated soooo young (my parents are ministers too) like black / white thinking,  one true wayism thinking,   and such like that.

    I'm not really out-out to many people. My mom knows, but I haven't told my dad  though I don't go to church any more, so he's probably suspicious and 'praying for me to get right with god'  as it were. I told my sisters both of them are hardcore xtians in a nondenominational church. My friends know but  that's it.  

    So suffice to say I have a long way to go as far as 'coming out' but as they say coming out is not a one time deal. You have to do it. over and over for the rest of your life, sometimes. always new people to meet, and situations to either be true to yourself or lie and hide who you are..etc.

    You're really lucky to be a 'natural born skeptic'  as it were.. I'm a bit late to the party, but it's better than not getting an invite at all, right? 

  • Jodi Nautilus

    You got cut off on your last/second message. I assume you fell asleep?  Or maybe just didn't realize it.  And never apologize for rambling. I am a ramble monster myself and and I always appreciate when people can ramble back at me.  Heh. 

    As far as having a mental illness because of indoctrination, I didn't escape that either.  Although, I don't know if MY mental illness is because of being indoctrinated, but I do have a mental illness. And i was diagnosed in my early twenties,  around the same time I was questioning a lot of things and such. 

    Hmmm,  what else? Oh, magic shows and mythology.  Growing up,  my parents namely my dad's idea of bed time stories were of course bible stories. i didn't get exposed to greek myth or any other kind of myth until college and during my 'pagan period'  as it were. I still enjoy myths, and find them interesting,  but they are just as ... outlandish as xtian mythology.  My mom is afraid of paranormal things  which my dad watched,  and I later got into.  So that to a point was ... a foot in the door to being exposed to other things?

    Also growing up instead of magic shows, I watched those Revival type shows on TBN, with Tim Storey or Benny Hinn.  Faith Healers--for some reason as a child it fascinated me that they would 'push people over' (touch their forehead and they faint)  and then 'god would heal them'  I watched them over and over and over again.. like i did with certain disney movies and sesame street movies.  Heh. 

    After I was diagnosed with my mental illness, my dad tried to take all my paranomral books away so I didn't get confused  with the difference between fantasy and reality. I begged him to let me keep them, cause frankly it was the only thing i was reading at the time and the stories kept me sane,  gave me something to look forward to every day. I find it odd in a way thinking back, that he didn't try to take the bible away from me too,  but to him, I s'pose, that is reality.

    And yeah, in regard to hiding/lying about my atheism, I am used to that. I have to lie about the other closets I am in as well, Its like a russian doll type of closet or something. I don't know,  hahaha. So my dad can be comfortable in his ignorance, as I still live with him for the moment.  I am hoping to move out of the bible belt  and up north to either Portland, OR or Boston, MA.   Maaybe even Hawaii.  We'll see... 

  • Cristy

    Hey there. It's not much different here now in "the bible belt" I'm a gay female and it hard as hell to be here. I've been here 3.5 yes now and have No friends. They do not care for my life style, they hate my music. I'm a metal head from way back. I'm sure you can imagine how I'm treated.
    Thank you for your response. I really appreciate it and it makes me feel human. Here..
    I'm a terrible person and I'm told constantly I'm going to hell and other such nonsense.