In the two years since I was last here..
I have almost died.
Which sent me to the hospital for a few weeks.
Had my dog hit by a car the week I got out of the hospital.
She lost a leg.
After two years lost my home.
Had to give up said dog. That one still hurts.
Had to leave Oregon for California to live with family.
And now I live with my Dad and his fifth wife and they are Christian…Continue
There is a song out there called My Body is a Cage. I can’t recall who wrote it but as far as performing the song goes Peter Gabriel’s version is what I find myself listening to most often.
For me my body has become a cage. One I’ve been trying to escape from for a while. Progress is slow then it seems things take a turn and go back downhill. In my fight to fix myself I have a lot going against me in that my lungs don’t function very well. This doesn’t mean I give up. I just have to…Continue
4 AM comes again I lie here in bed and look out the window. I stare at the brightest star I can see like I do most nights. I often avoid sleep to avoid dreaming but not sleeping is even worse for me. Being awake I guide my own thoughts is more of a pain than any dream I could have.
I reflect on long talks that never happened. On events that could be and every outcome there could be to them. I reflect on events in my life and what I should have done, what I could have done to make…Continue
I am fat, I know I am and even if I didn’t know I was people tell me often enough when I am in public. I have always been bigger, but I was at least active. I went to the gym and took part in the martial arts for years.
I’ve been trying to lose weight again and I have been but I haven’t lost anything in a month now. I fear I am going about to gain it all back which would just send me into depression worse than I already deal with on a daily basis.
Depression has always been an…Continue
Dreams we all have them, most of us don’t remember them after we wake up. Some people are able to control their dreams. I have done that but not in a very long time.
Lately I have been having a lot of dreams that feel real. Every part of it seems like it is really happening only to wake up a few different times with my pillow covered in drool and my face buried in it. …Continue
Human touch. Research has shown it is that is needed throughout our lives because of the many benefits such as it’s ability to lower blood pressure and reduce the production of stress hormones. There are also some emotional benefits from non-sexual touch. A reassuring or comforting touch can help with anxiety.
Human touch plays it’s biggest role in our lives as newborns but this isn’t about newborns it is about one adult and how touch…