"Dear god, I am asking that you alter the natural state of global weather patterns and focus precipitation in my local area. I am praying to you, oh lord, for rain. I ask this in your name, Jesus Christ, Amen."

First of all, if there was a god in charge of making things meteorologically happen, to produce weather at will, then it would be justifiable to blame the sky daddy solely for tornadoes, hurricanes and floods. In fact, it would be within our rights to be really pissed off about it. If I thought a omnipresent being was controlling the weather, I'd be saying "What the $%*# is wrong with you, A-hole, causing all this damage and loss of human life." But for atheists, though fully aware these natural disasters cause grief, there is comfort knowing that personal loss through events such as these are simply one of life's truths. In other words, shit happens. There is no rhyme or reason to it why bad things happen to people, it is simply a matter of circumstance. The same goes for periods of drought. The weather is going to do what it is going to do, and bowing down with your hands clasped together isn't going to change it. Thor is not charging up his thunderbolts, and Jesus isn't blowing clouds your way.

Secondly, praying for rain is absurd because the ability for it to be answered is 100%. It is a given that no matter where you are in the world, you will receive some sort of precipitation eventually. A prayer for rain is a sure bet. There is zero chance that it won't be answered. Even the driest place on earth, the Atacama Desert in Chile gets some rain, even if it is only an average of less than .004 inches per year. So if it is guaranteed, what is the point of asking for it in the first place? I suppose people pray for timeliness, for it to rain soon, and perhaps folks are more specific about the quantity desired. Well, that can be a bit disappointing I guess. I would refer you back to the previous point, which is that there isn't a god actually in control of it. If your prayer isn't answered post haste, well, that would be because you are talking to yourself while on bended knees, friend. 

It is wasted breath to look to the heavens and ask for a divine drenching. But fret not, the drops of H2O will come in due time, with or without your pleas.

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Comment by ungodlynews on September 10, 2011 at 10:33am
@Pat Can never be too careful. Arch falls, the debris miraculously forms a cross, and here we go again, somebody call Dave Silverman! ;-)
Comment by Pat on September 10, 2011 at 10:19am
@ungodly - Laughed my rear end off with the "seismic activity" comment.  I, too, need to drop a few lbs.  Problem for my dancing is I live near the New Madrid fault.  Don't want to topple the St. Louis Arch.
Comment by ungodlynews on September 9, 2011 at 4:37pm

That's awesome Pat! My rain dance might cause negligible seismic activity, nothing more.


Steph...we're fairly dry here too, and have had two smaller fires that have lasted a couple of days. Small population in Wyoming so no lives lost, small structural damage. It would be great if they could get those Tx fires under control.

Rick Perry...Do you watch the Daily Show, Daniel? He has a new tagline the last couple of episodes that says something like "Holy shit, I think Rick Perry is going to be President!" Scary scary thought!

Comment by Pat on September 9, 2011 at 12:39pm

Great story by the American artist and ethnographer, George Catlin, when he was with the Mandan native Americans in the 1830's.  They lived on the prairie in what is now the Dakotas.  Their rain dances were 100% successful, because they didn't stop dancing till it rained.  Except for one small glitch.  One member of the group was absolutely barred from participating in any rain dances.  Turns out, last time he did, it worked only too well.  In addition to the rain, a tornado came through and wiped out the village.  His magic was way too strong to ever be let loose again.

Now here it is 2011, and people are still asking the magic sky spirits for precipitation.  How little we change.

Comment by Daniel B on September 8, 2011 at 11:19pm

Nice vent.


At least a rain dance would be more fun.


So far, it sounds like pRick Perry's rain prayer failed miserably.  i don't get much TX news, but I heard something about thousands of evacuations and requests for firefighters to go down there.  Also, I hear there is another La Nina in the works and am curious if the usual effect is a dry TX or a wet TX.

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