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# Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?

I apologize if you'd read this e-mail forward already, but I was laughing so hard I had to post it here.

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a
University ofWashington chemistry mid-term.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that
the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of
course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off
heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their
beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is
compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
changing in time. So we need to know
the rate at which souls are moving into
Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely
assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls
are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are
not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more
than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one
religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death
rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell
because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure
in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than
the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in
Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than
the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep
with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night,
then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and
has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that
since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence
of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh
my God.'

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Comment by Skylar on January 23, 2009 at 11:04pm
Awesome! Thanks for the laugh.
Comment by Amy on January 23, 2009 at 3:37pm
Wow that was hilarious! I'm going to send this to my friends...
Comment by Jude Johnson on January 23, 2009 at 8:23am
That was great - thanks!

...Is it getting hot in here???
Comment by River Otter on January 23, 2009 at 7:08am
Wow! Thanks for sharing. :)

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