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On gods and love

Romance without god(s) is an interesting thing. The end of it, especially, I think. For a believer, when something ends, there is someone to blame. To be angry with. To “lean” on. To rage at.

My acceptance of my own atheism coincided with a rocky and over-emotional marital relationship that often found me fighting the urge to beg, demand and negotiate my situation with some sentient fairy god-person. Sitting on the cold severe bathroom floor, seven months into the hormonal nightmare that is pregnancy, asking anyone, myself, Bob, “Whoever is Working the Controls” to make me a better wife. It’s quite the flat realization that those controls, coincidentally, are in my own hands.

Instead, I’ve (we’ve?) been left, then and now, to wax philosophical with only myself about decision and regret. Empty surrounding air my audience, offering no response to the questions of love and connection that plague us all.

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Comment by thelittlepecan on January 27, 2009 at 11:19pm: Never date a Christian, never date a Georgia Bulldog. Those are the rules.

Comment by Deborah on January 27, 2009 at 8:54pm: Oh, I can so relate. My ex boyfriend would attend church most Sundays, then be guilt ridden about our relationship, since he was recently divorced and his church forbade divorce. I tried to respect his beliefs, but I got very tired of feeling like I was the cause of someone's fall from grace, even though I had nothing at all to do with the divorce and did not meet him until 6 months after his divorce was final. Breaking up with him was also my breaking point concerning how much religion I would accept in any future relationship. A girl can only take so much loving Christian guilt.