The problem, as I see it, is people who have been trained to be dependent, passive, and subordinate do not think in terms of independence, dominance and action orientation. I hear "victim-talk" instead of "initiator-talk".
victim, fatality, loser, prey, stooge, dupe, sucker, fool, fall guy, chump, patsy, sap, sacrificial lamb, burnt offering, scapegoat; whining, crying, pleading, begging, complaining, blaming, yelling, imploring, finding fault, condemning, denouncing, bellyaching, rebuking, admonishing.
name problem, describe, analyze, inspect, check, scrutinize, investigate, vet, test, monitor, survey, study, look over, peruse, scan, explore, probe, assess, appraise, review, audit, check out, give something the once-over, remember, recall, recollect; finger, diagnose, recognize or distinguish (especially something considered worthy of attention).
identify goal, recognize, single out, pick out, spot, point out, pinpoint, put one's finger on, put a name to, name, know; discern, distinguish; determine, examine, establish, ascertain, make out, define.
explore options, imagine, create, envisage, visualize, picture, see in the mind's eye, dream up, think up/of, conjure up, conceive, conceptualize, delve (into), dig (into), inquire (into), investigate, look (into), explore, examine, probe, research, inspect, sift, study, view, browse, scan, check, discover, hunt, probe, prospect, search, reconnoiter, scout, reveal, unearth; fathom, plumb.
develop plans, plan, organize, arrange, work out, design, outline, map out, prepare, schedule, formulate, frame, devise, concoct, hatch, coordinate, budget, allocate resources, act, move, undertake, maneuver, endeavor, effort, exert, conduct, legal action, prosecute, litigate.
evaluate outcomes, appraise, assess, guesstimate, rate, set, valuate, value, adjudge, deem, judge; ascertain, determine, discover, discern, learn, decide, settle; analyze, assay, survey, test.
It is relatively easy to turn victim-talk into initiator-talk.
1. Name the problem.
2. Identify the goal.
3. Explore the options.
4. Develop action plans. Plan A, B, C.
5. Evaluate outcome.
If what I do solves the problem, then go on to the next thing that needs attending. If I do NOT solve the problem, then try Plan B, and C, etc.
Remember, you can't change other people, only yourself, not all problems have solutions, there are some things over which you have no control and no predictability, and what is, is. To change what is requires thought and action.
Thinking in terms of action requires the use of action vocabulary.
Praexis: thought + action = change
Thought without action is just so much daydreaming.
Action without thought is just so much chaos.