In a dramatic turn of events, Adam de Eden and his wife Eve have been found not guilty of being the cause of a ‘curse on all mankind’ and bringing sin into the world by eating a piece of illicit fruit. While neither deny consuming said berry, they claimed in court that the fruit tree's owner had lied to them, and that they were unaware of how dire the consequences of their ‘crime’ would be.
The judge in the case, Lord AG. Gnostic, accepted the de Eden's story, which went as follows.
“When we were created and found ourselves in Eden, our creator, Mr Y.A. Weh, told us we could eat anything in the Garden except from the Tree of Knowledge. He informed us that if we did so, we would be dead by the end of the day. However, we had no knowledge of what a bad thing death might be. How could we? It was the first day we had ever existed, we had been provided with no information of what life was, and certainly knew nothing about the concept of death.
We found ourselves left entirely on our own in this strange garden, and then this serpent started talking to us. He told us that what Mr Weh had told us was not true (though of course, we had no idea then what truth was either) and if we did eat the fruit from the tree, we would not die. The speaking serpent sounded so reasonable, and we were so hungry, we decided to take our chances and eat the fruit anyway.
Then Mr Weh came back from wherever he had been hiding himself, saw that we had eaten some of the fruit, and he was furious. We tried to explain what had happened but he simply would not let us speak. He raged on and on about us becoming ‘as gods’ but did nothing to explain exactly what it was we had done wrong. He ended his rant by magically taking away the serpent’s legs and forcing it to eat dust, by turning me (Adam) into a farmer and making Eve have children. Finally, he evicted us from our home.
We realised the following day that Mr Weh had indeed lied to us for we were still alive. (Note, Mr de Eden is now a healthy 900-years old).
In his summation, the Judge concluded that Mr Weh had acted in a very aggressive and totally unreasonable manner. Furthermore, it was clear that he, and not the de Eden’s, was solely responsible for the creation of death and sin, and simply was simply refusing to accept any blame.
( Mr Weh is subject to another court action next week, where he is being accused of not actually existing. He is not expected to attend court personally.)