It is difficult sometimes for me since I am an atheist and my wife is a devout evangelical Christian. We met 7 years ago Sunday, and she asked me when we first met if I was “saved.” I told her I had been, thinking I was. As it turns out I wasn’t. What happened was one day I went to church with a friend of mine’s mom. At the time I was pretty much homeless and her and her husband were letting me stay with them temporarily. I went to church with my friend’s mom, and at the end of the service the preacher asked if there was “anyone here who has not accepted Jesus as their personal lord and savior.” I raised my hand, not realizing that I would be asked to come down and ask Jesus to be my lord and savior in front of the whole church! Well, out of fear I did, thinking I had no choice. Later when I met my wife and she asked me if I was saved I told her yes because I thought I had been saved since I had went through the ritual of it, not knowing that what she considered saved was “accepting Jesus into your heart.” Now I realize that I should have clarified things when I first met my wife, but that’s in the past and I can’t change that now. Thus, when we got married I agreed to go to church with her and I have.
Eventually, out of fear again and pressure from my wife I got baptized. Being the coward that I am sometimes, in order to get baptized I got high on dextromethorphan, the drug that is in Robitussin. My wife didn’t know this, but eventually I told her. So to counter the intoxicated blasphemous baptism, I got baptized again sober. I got saved again, but this time also I feel it was out of ritual. The pastor asked everyone to come down and recite a prayer and I did, and then got baptized. I went to church and studied my Bible and became to believe, if not on just a superstitious level. But in time I heard a sermon over gematria, which is just numerology and superstition. So what little faith I had began to crumble at that point.
I quit going to church, but a couple of years later, after a separation from my wife, and after telling her I am an atheist, I went back to church. This was about four months ago. Since then I read a book, a couple of books that is, by Dr. Bart D. Ehrman. He is an evangelical preacher Biblical scholar turned atheist. He explains how the Bible is not “the inerrant word of God,” but a human book with human errors. The Bible comes from an oral tradition and wasn’t even written down until 30-40 years after Jesus, and the Gospels weren’t even written by the authors attached to the books (the disciples Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John). Biblical scholars know this, most of whom are Christian; and the preachers learn this in seminary school, but the evangelical Christian preachers like the one’s at the church my wife and I attend know this, though they don't "believe it.". So I took it upon myself to email the pastor and his brother who also preaches and tell them that they are incorrect in telling people the Bible is the inerrant word of God, that it has errors, and that they should know this. Also I told them that their telling my wife this was causing her and I problems. I feel my wife is coming around, but there is probably no hope for the pastors. I have received a response and anticipate that I will talk to them about this in person soon. I wonder what they think knowing now that they have an atheist in their church.
Anyway, that’s my story for now, will update you as things develop.