No, seriously. I'm not. Not Ever. The FBI told me I'd be jailed as a terrorist if I attempted stand-up comedy. Because I'd bomb so bad. I'd be a human bomb. Like a suicide bomber, but comedic in intent instead of socio-political.

See? Ahilarious.

I'm not often bothered by it. I'd never publicly whine about it. I may have no ability at giving "teh" humor, but I can still LOL and :-) with the best of them.

I'd only lament it if my balls were being burned off with hot pokers because I had failed to make my captors laugh.

I'm abysmal at jokes.

You know what they call an alternative medicine that's been proven to work?

Like, for instance, a millenia old herbal supplement derived from salicylate-rich plants (like certain species from the genus Salix) but that's now used commonly as an analgesic, antipyretic, and/or anti-inflammatory?


Absolute shit, that.

I'm not funny.

It's sad.

Sometimes when I'm crying about it, alone in my dark room with black painted walls and posters of Bauhaus and Dashboard Confessional covering the walls, I just wish my mascara would stop running; and I have to stop masturbating long enough to take my medicine or I'll have an "attack" again.

Not being funny is stupid.

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Comment by Tom on February 5, 2010 at 12:20am
My ability to care is only outweighed by your ability to amuse me.
Comment by Tom Thompson on February 3, 2010 at 12:02pm
Are you hoping I'll agree with you?
Comment by ungodlynews on February 3, 2010 at 11:23am
When did you first become unfunny, or have you always known? Do you friends and family know about this? Perhaps your parents tried to raise you funny and you are simply rebelling against them.
Comment by Little Name Atheist on February 3, 2010 at 9:21am
Your "not" tag is very cryptic.

If you want to make a tag with more than one word in it, enclose the two words in quotation marks, like so: "not funny".

You may already be aware that at least some of the folks on Nexus are Very Literal. I try to accept this as part of the local environment, like dust mites are part of my local environment: Generally not a problem until they pile up and start sucking the fun out.

You will have to work harder to convince me that you are like, totally unfunny.

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