So, I've decided to read the bible....

I actually never read it, and I'm quite curious what bullshit I might read...
I wanted to find the bible I had back in primary school (I don't think it is a childrens version), but I couldn't find it, neither here, neither at my parents place...
So I looked for something online. I choose the roman katholic version because it's most common here, and I chose to read it in german for better understanding. (My german is way better than my english).
I do not even have the intention to write something on it chapter by chapter... I realize this would not be possible as until now, I have only read bullshit.
Noah and his family just repopulated the world.
My questions and conclusions until now : statement about universe... only talking about earth, moon and sun !
...God clearly wants us to be stupid believers.... there is no way I wouldn't have eaten from the tree of knowledge ;)
... yucky incest story we have there...
... living for 900 years ????? wtf ??? ...
...again incest story.... how are noah sons able to reproduce without their mother ???? ...

I don't think I will make it through the whole bible... with so much bullshit in the first book...

Update 31 March 2010 :

I've fnished reading Genesis yesterday. It took 10 days, yep, but I had no intention to put this reading to valuable time during the day, so I only read when I go to bed, so the reading may last from 10 minutes to up an hour (depends on my THC level...). Oh, and I don't remember names all, so I most likely ignore them at all, and I skip the passages where he talks about the descendents....
I don't understand how any person just reading half of that first book does believe in the chrisitian god.
Adam is an idiot. He just took the apple and ate it... allthough he knew.... he just blames Eve for the shit !
Incest through all of the book, like it's just normal.
The two stories that shocked me most was the one with the Dad getting drunk and getting raped by their daughters, ewwww !
And the one where that guy rapes the girl... falls in love with her (already pretty weird) .... asking their family to marry her (weird again)... they agree but only if every single male get circumsized in their "clan"... they agree... it's done (poor guys!)... they go to sleep and they get killed by the brothers of the raped girl.... that's just so wrong ! They could have killed them right away ! Damn !
Beside all the incest that takes place... god is a loser. He promises land, but he does not give it to them thousands of years later (with all those nine hundert year old people!) And actually he is not that present in the story.... it mostly talks about lying and betraying people just to keep their own face.
No sign yet of hell or heaven... they only join their relatives at death....
well, hope exodus gets better.... moses hasn't been promising yet.... such a loser....scared of speaking to people.... never heard of his brother before....


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Comment by Syrus TheVirus on March 22, 2010 at 1:26am
lol... sounds great...
I'm already skipping the parts which tell how old they are...
haha... Abrahams wife getting pregnant at 90 ... lol... ok... so if I get fed up, I will definately read your recommendations... :) thanks...
Comment by feralboy12 on March 21, 2010 at 3:42pm
You haven't even gotten to the boring bits yet.
Read Leviticus and Exodus, though. Lots of great instructions on the proper way to take a crap, sacrifice a goat, eat your neighbor's grapes, beat your slaves, and marry your rape victims.

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