BIGFOOT BODY FOUND!
I was shocked! It's bigfoot! Look! See it!? No?...
me either but this sort of thing is one of my favorite flavors of bullshit. That entire writeup oozes hoax. It's funny but it's still BS.
Why am I being so judgmental?
"The creature was found ... in the woods in northern Georgia. (The exact location is being kept secret to protect the creatures.)"
That sounds reasonable, people would probably want to go find them and likely grill one out of novelty. You've claimed, once again, to have made what could easily be considered the scientific discovery of the decade and you're concerned for their well being. Well, not really, you did kill one of them and plan on going back out for a second one. PETA would be so proud.
"The only person we would allow to come down and verify the body was 'the real Bigfoot Hunter,' Tom Biscardi".
Because any biologist, zoologist or half blind 5 year old with a shred of common sense would know you were full of it. You've identified a completely novel species and the first person you want to call is a known hoaxer?
"Extensive scientific studies will be done on the body by a team of scientists...at an undisclosed location".
Right. Names? Credentials? Who is it? Where are they from? This is important and highly relevant information when your making claims of this magnatude. OooOOoooH, undisclosed location! More secret stuff! It's like the X-Files without being distracted by Gillian Anderson looking so damn hot in that pantsuit. rawr.
"DNA evidence and photo evidence of the creature will be presented..."
DNA evidence. Mmhm. I'll go to church if science proves this as a previously unknown species. 'Inconclusive' or 'suggests' doesn't count, that's not proof. DNA sequencing can take a while so take all the time you need. Hell, send it out to a few different labs while your at it. It's not a hard bet to win, really, as there are likely more unknown species on the planet then known ones. You claim to have a body, bring the body so people can look and take their own pictures. Leave the polaroids at home and stop with the cloak and dagger act.
Now, don't get me wrong, it's completely possible that an animal along these lines might exist and I do think some aspects of cryptozoology are pretty interesting but with current technology and the cult-like fanaticism of those in search we should have more then blurry photos, fake hair samples and plaster-cast footprints to go on.
This Tom Biscardi
character has pulled this exact same stunt more then once and this episode appears to be following suit.
Here's my prediction for how this will play out:
"We have a bigfoot, come look at my convincing scientific evidence and 8x10 glossy photos! Sorry, press only, bigfoots is serious business".
"Aw, I was scammed! It's not a bigfoot! They told me it was but it isn't!"
"it's a bigfoot, you people are just too skeptical to accept it...by the way, I need a few bucks to continue our 'research' so buy my movie".
Why would they bother? Money, plain and simple. The two guys that claim to have found the bigfoot nest and body are owners of a company that "offers bigfoot expeditions". Come up with a good story, claim you know where these things hang out, put on a little song and dance with the media for an afternoon and the sadly gullible flock will break out the checkbook to see your secret den of bigfoots. As for Biscardi, he recently came out with a bigfoot movie that he'd likely be more then happy to sell a couple copies of. At this point I'm convinced he gets some sort of self gratification out of the process.
No one will ever take these people seriously if they continue acting like idiots.