10. You vigorously deride belief in the existence of other gods (Thor,
Osiris, Ganesha, etc...) as foolish, and archaic, but feel persecuted if
someone derides belief in your god.
9. You are insulted and incredulous when scientists state that people
evolved from "lower" life forms, but have no problem with your bible
stating that we were created from dirt.
8. You think polytheism is archaic, and silly but have no problem with a
7. You go crazy when you hear how the Quran commands beating women, or
killing atheists and Jews, but you think it is a moral allegory when the
bible commands genocide, or when god orders the slaughter of all the
babies in Egypt, or even when he orders the "untouched" women to be
raped as spoils of war.
6. You think that evidence for god is merely a question for which you
don't know the answer. IE-"Where did beauty come from? God did it" or
"Why are things so complex? God did it."
5. You think that the burden of proof lies with Atheists to disprove
your claim, instead of on you to provide evidence for your own.
4. You think that there is a place that God sends people who don't
believe as you do, to suffer in pain, torment and torture. Not only are
you OK with this, but you still consider your religion "tolerant" and
your god "loving".
3. Geology conclusively proving that the flood didn't happen, or history
proving that the bible was written by man, or science proving that the
earth is 5 billion years old doesn't convince you, but one idiot rolling
around speaking gibberish and calling it tongues is all the evidence
that you need.
2. You laugh at the claim that Greek gods slept with women, but don't
blink an eye when recounting the story of the holy spirit impregnating
Mary (without her permission), giving birth to a man/god who was sent by
himself, as a blood sacrifice to himself, to appease himself, to
convince himself to forgive his creations of things that he himself knew
they would do, then to raise himself from
the dead to ascend and be with himself again.
1. You think that the story of a man who lied to his son, brought him to
an altar under false pretenses, tied him up in terror, and raised a
knife with the intent to look into his eyes and slaughter him, is a good
and moral story. You think that it was good that he proved his loyalty
to his lord, you are OK with the evil concept of blood sacrifice and
even more than OK that a supposedly moral God would command such a
Runner up- You think that it is a mythological story to hear about
Icarus flying too close to the sun, but Jonah surviving for 3 days
inside a whale is perfectly reasonable.
Runner up #2- You think that a 0.01% success rate for prayer is proof of
god, or that things that might have happened anyway, happened merely
because YOU wanted them to and you prayed for it. You think that the
other 99.9% is just an example of Gods mysterious ways.
(#2A- You would rather convince yourself that you are helping by sitting
alone and thinking about someone, and call it prayer, then actually
getting up off your ass and DOING something.)
Here is a message to Christians everywhere;
If you can identify with any of these things, you need to seriously
rethink your beliefs, your morality, and your parental skills and....
READ A BOOK!