Why Did The Fundie Cross The Road ?
1. He was following a trail of "Chick" tracts.
2. She was going to meet her preacher at a motel over there and audition for a missionary position.
3. To buy his beer and porn, since none of his fellow church members lived on that side of town.
4. He wasn't sure why, so he stopped to pray about it and was hit by a church bus.
5. Because, there were two blacks and a Jew walking on her side of the road.
6. Taking a short cut to a new sub-division, trying to beat the Mormons and Jehovah's witnesses to all those virgin doors.
7. He was trying to walk off a boner that had arose while watching "The Passion of the Christ" for the fourth time.
8. She was on her way to partake in one of fundieism's most holy of rituals at the "The Big Hair Beauty Shop".
9. He was walking back home after the bomb he was wearing failed to explode on the bus and he had only purchased a one way ticket.
10. She was taking a group of home schoolers on an educational field trip to an anti-abortion rally.
11. To lay hands on that dead possum and heal it, if not, he had take home for supper.
12. He was a black fundie walking home after a white fundie cab driver refused to stop and give him a ride.
13. I don't know, but it was a cross road, he stepped on a nail and suffered all the way home.
14. He could get a better view of the young, catholic, school girls in their little, short uniforms from over there.
15. He was trying to get back to his double parked cross before the meter maid could give him a ticket.
16. He was going over there to view a pile of stepped in dog shit, that was said to look like the face of Jesus Christ.
17. He was walking to McDonald's to apply for a job after the world failed to come to an end the day before, he had quit his job and signed his car and house over to his preacher.
18. I don't know, but it's dangerous as hell to cross a two lane road with blinders on.
19. He was leading his family to the church grounds for the unveiling of the new Strom Thurmond statue.
20. Because, the road took a LEFT turn.
21. He was trying to find that damn chicken and exorcise it, after he heard it was laying deviled eggs.
22. To find a better spot for his " I Hate Fags" sign.
23. I don't know why, but I'll bet he goes to hell for it.
24. He saw the sign that read "Cross Walk", and he wanted to walk in Jesus' footsteps.
25. She was taking the long way around the block to church, so all the neighbors could see her new easter clothes.
26. He was trying to catch that damn chicken, so his wife could cook it up for the preacher on Sunday.
27. (Sing Along Now) HE SAW THE LIGHT, PRAISE THE LORD HE SAW THE LIGHT