Every country has its vegetables; in the South African religious culture, July seems to mark the month of the potato – 70 000 potatoes to be exact. All of these vegetables gathered in all their disparity at the well-known Loftus Versfeld stadium in Pretoria on the 7’Th of this month to heed the mash that is the message of one of their insidious leaders in vegetable kind; Angus Buchan.
Buchan, who thought it apt to write a book entitled ‘Faith Like Potatoes’ – let’s just appreciate the ingenuity of that title for a moment - about himself, appeared in his arid form in front of his (I should like to have used the word ‘flock’ here, but it seems somewhat inappropriate when I am talking about vegetables rather than the usual ‘sheep’) crop, managed – quite insipidly so – to spew out a number of priceless gems that tickled my fancy:
"Without faith we won't make it. Through Christ, everything is possible. The future of South Africa is in the hands of believers.”
Now as much as I love the scenery here, I fear that if these perennial plants referred to as ‘believers’ don’t keep their heads below the surface, I shall be further motivated to immigrate. I can only hope that the general disposition in this country lingers far from the abovementioned crop.
I also struggle to fathom how these people can take a statement like “Through Christ, everything is possible” seriously. No sane person would even consider taking a statement like “Through Mary Poppins, everything is possible” seriously, yet here we have 70 000 proud spuds dangling by the sprouts of this charismatic lunatic.
He also uttered that the biggest sin is not believing, in which case everybody here is pretty much screwed, although if it were true, I would not like to end up in heaven with farmer Angus! I would probably tell god to book me a front row seat to satan’s annual ballet and not to expect me back for at least another eternity.
I just feel terribly discouraged to see our country succumb to the total destitution of mind inherent in religion. This gathering is not a news headline, it’s a crying shame that all Atheists in South-Africa ought to deplore as much as I do, and ought to speak up against the seriously slacking standards in rational thinking.
Buchan commented shamelessly on the size of the crowd, saying it was a miracle and calling it "historic". What a fucking demented half baked bastard initiates such a shameful gathering amongst country citizens who barely have their heads out of a previous crisis; which left their moron immunity in a rather sad state due to the lack of a good education!?