A full-size replica of Noah's Ark is being constructed in the American heartland, and you are being invited to pay for it. After numerous fruitless expeditions and archaeological digs in and around Mt. Ararat, rumored to be the resting place of the original Ark, faithful Christians have apparently given up on finding it and opted to build a new one.
The new Ark will be located, as the project's publicists coyly phrase it, "in the greater Cincinnati area." By this they mean Kentucky. It will be part of the Creation Museum, a place that already exists and where the visitor can see animatronic cavemen riding on giant fiberglass dinosaurs, if he or she wishes to seek out that kind of entertainment.
The dinosaurs perished in the Great Flood, according to the curator at the Creation Museum, which is why we can't ride them today, in spite of the fact that in the the original account God commanded Noah to load up two of every animal on the Ark. The part where God said "Except the dinosaurs. You can just ride horses when things dry up," was left out of the story, but that is no reason to doubt it. Obviously, the Almighty gave many instructions that were too mundane to be included in the transcript, like the part where He told Noah what exactly a cubit was, and the part where He instructed Noah to have the giraffes sticking their necks out of the top of the boat at all times, for dramatic and artistic effect. That must have been laid down from On High, because anytime you see an artist's rendition of the Ark, there are those damn giraffes.
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