In this site there is two men for every woman Atheist Nexus member. Why comment on this? Because it seems that no one really believes me when I say there is not a lot of women out there who are atheist to date. Lets say there is ten percent of the population who is actually atheist, what part of them are actually a woman? How many of those are available? How many of those are actually interested in a relationship? I'm just saying, am I right or am I wrong?

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Comment by Earther on September 30, 2010 at 4:25pm
David, I understand questioning if the two to one ratio is actually true or not but I wonder if you have any more thoughts to what makes you feel the two to one ratio is wrong. So far David we only heard from one atheist woman who is (as I perceive) lesbian. John D, I like your observation "Funny that most religions treat women as second class, and still women are more religious than men." but I have some sympothy for the fact that many people must submit to the bullies to survive. I don't know if you have been listening to the recent news on Iran when their president said "we do not have gay people in Iran like the U.S." becuase they are killing them (Genicide). Of course he did not admit to that part. Domestic crime and prejudices make a lot of people hurt. As long as religion is a dominant social/political power the less powerful woman will continue to be a two to one ratio.
Comment by david perry on September 28, 2010 at 12:06pm
@Nick- I think there a lot of women who would take serious exception to your hypothesis.
And the way religious communities treat women should be one of the issues a forum like the Nexus should address. What the bible say about it another problem.
@John- I will concede that the numbers cited in the Pew poll are on your side, I just think any conclusions to be drawn from it are debatable. I think there are many more "closet atheists" than any poll could possibly account for, and that all too frequently, the social pressure to "belong" to a religion can outweigh the need for people to express more honest feelings about it. At least I hope so. (This may be generational, but I know many catholic men to whom going to mass on Sunday means little more than driving their wives there, and attend more by check or cash than by actual physical presence. Keeping up with your tithe must make one a better catholic.)
At this point ion the discussion, I would join Earther, in at least hoping some more women would weigh in on this discussion.
Comment by Ember Book on September 28, 2010 at 10:34am
I keep hearing that there are so many more atheist men than women, but I guess I haven't really noticed. Part of the reason might be that I tend not to focus on gender (bisexuality being either the cause or the result of this; I've yet to figure out which). Also, I suppose that if there are fewer women atheists, they would likely have a harder time finding fellow women who they would relate to, and therefor tend to use sites such as AN more commonly. Now that I think about it, it seems possible that there are more men than women, but that the women tend to be more active on the site.

I don't know if that is accurate, I'm just hypothesizing. If there are more atheist men than women, I would guess it is probably due in large part to the gender stereotypes in our culture which say that males are meant to be rebellious, independent types and females are meant to be more submissive. Obviously, this would encourage men to question things like religion while essentially commanding women to do as they are told and follow their religion unquestioningly.

This is apparent within the religious community where men constantly tell women what to do and how to live. Men are encouraged to study their faith and become leaders in the church, while women are meant to serve the church in less authoritative roles.

The bible itself has much to say about women submitting themselves to the will of a man, especially wives to their husbands. Perhaps this tradition of sexism and misogyny has discouraged women who would otherwise be perfectly capable of thinking for themselves.
Comment by david perry on September 28, 2010 at 9:48am
@John- Thanks for that one. I still maintain that the people that the number of people that would fall in to category of "lip service only" remains unquantified, and probably unquantifiable.
If nothing else, the apparent power of the social pressure of religion in the U.S. is still substantial. It's also very interesting to note that atheism is counted as a religion, which is a bias in itself. I obviously didn't read the whole study, but in the end it is only a survey of what the people polled said. "Everybody lies", and even though a TV character said that, I accept it as axiomatic.
I can say generally that the study does show that there is just way too much religion in the U.S. for my tastes, and that in my humble opinion, still does a lot more harm than good, which is likely a position that will not poll well.
All of which has been of no help whatsoever to the person who started this discussion.
Comment by david perry on September 28, 2010 at 2:58am
I think we can agree that christianity is grotesquely patriarchal, and that the number of televangelists is far too many regardless of gender. Back to the original question:
You really do have to wonder though if there are way more atheists than will ever admit it. I think the proportion of genders on this site more reflects internet habits than belief systems.
Maybe there should be some sort of analog to the military DADT policy for atheists and we could get some more women here. hahahaha....(I don't understand the punctuation emoticons and hate the acronyms)
I think problems of clashing belief(or non-belief)systems are no greater than would be political views, race, occupation or whatever criteria are important to you. Whatever they may be will tend to shrink your target demographic regardless. I've been an atheist since I was little, so it never occurred to me to worry about how many female atheists I'd ever meet.
The observation posited about the Nexus is likely an anomaly.
Comment by Earther on September 27, 2010 at 10:37pm
I am trying not to be critical but to use the low number of tele-evangelist as a theory to how women are not as vocal about belief is not so great. I think if a religious woman wanted her own show it would be difficult to compete with all of the men who wanted their own show.
Comment by david perry on September 15, 2010 at 12:05am
I'm not so sure about the numbers everybody seems to assume to be correct. It would seem to make a lot of sense to divide atheists into two groups: those(like the people on the Nexus)who admit to it freely and/or simply take it for granted, and those for social, professional or political reasons, cannot and/or will not admit to it.
That being said, I think men are far more prone to wear their emotional baggage on their sleeves, despite conventional wisdom to the contrary than women. Men tend to wallow in their beliefs more aggressively. Women, as far as I can tell, frequently seem to have different emotional priorities and would perhaps not find it as necessary to be as public with their beliefs. A similar case in point: televangelists. How many women in proportion to men get on the TV and peddle the same old crap as loudly and effectively as the men? Not many. For the discussion at hand, I think we can safely ignore the historical dearth of female clergy and the reasons for it. I would suggest there is more to it than simple sex discrimination.
What I'm saying then is that the gender proportions(and the aggregate numbers for that matter) we perceive regarding the number of atheists might not be the ones that really are.
Comment by Earther on September 14, 2010 at 8:17pm
It is always more important for the individual to feel happy with who they are. In some ways this website provides an avenue for self discovery and expansion of ones thoughts. Being safe in an environment is a prerequisite for retention. There is no guarantee that being atheist or having atheist friends will provide all the answers to life. If you know of some art history you will remember how the Amercan artist would paint beautiful landscapes of the west to attract the frontier. Promises of abundance for all was often met with an arrow through the chest. I don't know if I want to invite that kind of misery. It helps to know what you all are thinking though so that the path to a successful relationship is better understood.
Comment by Prog Rock Girl on September 14, 2010 at 1:31pm
I don't know if I agree that women are less likely to question things (at least in my family, the women have been much more likely!) but it is true that there are fewer women atheists, and fewer women in other areas of interest such as musicians.

On the reverse side of it, I've actually seen segments about churches having "manly" activities trying to recruit men, because there are fewer men in church!

Nerd could at least explain why she thinks this post is offensive. Because it's a guy saying he wants to date an atheist woman? Dating is, unfortunately, all about numbers.
Comment by sacha on September 14, 2010 at 1:07pm
Nerd said: Your post is part of the reason why there are two men for every women.

That is not only extremely rude, it is also completely untrue. Earther, you asked a legitimate question, and conveyed the frustration that many members have in finding an atheist to date. Please ignore that comment, she speaks only for herself.


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