I'm still grappling with saying it.
I'm an atheist.
I get flashbacks to Sunday School teachers equating atheists with Satan worshipers. Atheists were evil, godless, out to destroy our faith and create anarchy and sin everywhere! Even when I understood that nothing was further from the truth, those false teachings still hit home.
But make no doubt about it: Religion has a strong hold on people, and it's hard to let go. Even after "coming out" here on this site, I still sometimes wonder, "What if I'm wrong?"
After decades of churchgoing, it's like unfriending your first friend on Facebook. They've been around this long, why detach? But it's more fear, I realize. I kept hanging on - using Pascal's wager, the social benefits of church as a rationale - not because I loved God, but because I was afraid of the consequences.
It's a weird feeling, breaking away. But it's a good feeling. I want to read more and bolster any arguments to counter those small peaks of doubt. Every new argument makes it so much clearer, and my Sunday School teachers seem that much farther away.