Goddamn! Jesus Christ! I've been having to yell these a lot lately. Granted, I have driven nearly 3,000 in the last 10 days. I had to deal with jackasses riding my bumper in rural Pennsylvania at 2am. I have also had to deal with Manhattan traffic at noon on a Tuesday. Neither of these situation were as bad as traveling the open roads of America.

1st off, driving tests should include some sort of test for a person's ability to multi-task. Multi-tasking is highly important while driving a vehicle and I am now convinced that very few people can do it. Whenever I get behind a car that is pulling every jackass move possible, it's a fairly safe bet that the driver is A) Reading the paper and drinking coffee B) Texting C) Talking on the phone (how in the hell can you not talk on the phone and drive at the same time?) D) Yelling at the kids in the back seat.

Driving itself is multi-tasking. That is why it is so important to be able to do it while driving. You have to watch the road, steer, watch speedometer, watch your three mirrors and know what is going on around you. If a person can't talk on a phone and steer, they should not be given a license. Driving in this country is a privilege and not a right, but we let every Tom, Dick and Douchebag have a license.

I know some states are raising the age you can get your license, but I am totally against this method. People have to learn to drive sometime, and just delaying a jackass' ability to get a license is in no way going to make him a better driver. I started driving when I was around the age of 6. My dad would let me steer. He then let me drive on my own when I was 10 or 11. We would drive in empty parking lots, and being that I grew up in Arkansas, he was able to take me out to drive in fields. My dad made sure he was comfortable with my abilities behind the wheel before he ever let me get my license. A lot of traffic problems would be solved by just making sure people can drive, and I don't mean the easy little test that you have to pass now. I'm talking about a tough course that the weak links can't pass. The people that can't get licenses will just have to use public transportation, join a car pool or, heaven forbid it, ride a bicycle.

I know a major argument against preventing people from driving is the lack of public transportation in many parts of the country. Well, I am fairly positive that public transportation system will improve as the demand increases. If there is money to be made, someone will step up to make it.

I'm going to finish this little rant with a piece of driving advice. When you are coming up an on-ramp while getting on a major U.S. highway or interstate, get up to speed before you enter traffic. Most on-ramps are fairly long so you can get to or close to the speed limit. I promise it will make the entire process of entering traffic easier and it won't make traffic accordion back because you entered too slowly. Seacrest Out!

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