Thanks to all those who commented on my pre-funeral anxieties and other issues. Things went quite smoothly in PA, because the funeral was held in the social hall, where we also ate after the burial. So no religious problems. I saw another funeral being held in the holy sanctuary but was told that they usually hold funerals in the social room, and the event in the sanctuary followed a sudden death. So Belle is off to that Great Kosher(-Style) Deli in the sky, where every meal is brunch and everybody plays bridge all day long..
There was no praying, no sermonizing, no talk of God. The rabbi lamely but gamely compared Belle to Sarah ("Mother of the Jewish people"), Abraham's wife; that was about as religious as it got. Other than the Hebrew hymn the rabbi sang (nice voice!), it was hardly Jewish at all --- just like the deceased herself.
Finally, the Dirty Compromise: Out of some personal superstition, Belle didn't want dirt shoveled over her by the attendees per Jewish tradition (though certainly it was OK for the cemetery staff to do it later). Or maybe she thought it would make it too hard for her to dig out. I never knew how her mind worked, if at all. But there was nevertheless a silver urn of dirt and some trowels, for those who wanted to follow Jewish custom.