For some reason my mother is the sort of person that forewords every chain email she gets to me. I've told he more than once that I don't like to receive them. I'd rather know that when I receive an email from her that it's safe to open and read it. Now I know that when one comes my way I should just simply delete it.
The problem is that I'm a nosy bitch and I can't stand to not know a piece of information that comes my way, even one that is complete bullshit and a complete waste of time. I'm also bored enough to look for just about any excuse to rant about something. Maybe I'm just a bag of hot air with too little social contact. Maybe I just like to read my own blog. Who knows.
Anyways I opened up this little gem called “Feng Shui (read it, please don't delete)”, and I expected to find the usual testimonial to roll my eyes at or maybe even crappy advise some Anglo-American sitting around in a room full of crystals purposefully tried to make look like a literal translation by putting unrelated phrases together. I didn't have time to get to the crappy advice before coming across one of the more irritating phrases Ive seen in awhile. It went along with the usual threats for neglecting to spread around it's crappiness and then had the audacity to say: This is true, even if you are no t superstitious, agnostic, or otherwise faith impaired. Faith impaired? Faith impaired? Some moron that believes in fairies, crystals and the ancient art of furniture arrangement just called me impaired?
Maybe I am. After all I'm not the one that was smart enough to go become a hypnotist promising to bring back memories from infancy and the womb or an expert in Feng Shui. Imagine all of the money I'm missing out on when I could be implanting false memories, and then counseling the poor sap on the trauma I just created for him. Think about all of the money I could be making by rearranging someone's furniture and coming up with some BS excuse that sounds like I'm quoting an ancient book in broken English. To think I've spent all of this time broke when I could be preying on others' flights of fancy.