Coming out as an Atheist to my mom.

Greetings fellow non-theists!

First thing you gotta understand about this coming out story is that BOTH of my parents are ordained Christian ministers. Second you gotta realize that I already came out to her as a bisexual, a bit before I was ready, but at least I'm out now, even though it felt wrong, because I feel more .... homosexual than bisexual, but that's beside the point.

I am friends with my mom on facebook, since she lives in a different state. And we caught each other online so I seized the opportunity to tell her my most recent revelation that I was currently revelling in. So, I told her and she asked why. I told her that it was because, I had been or a while and just hadn't embraced it, or broadcasted it. She asked what caused this change of faith. I told her learning and reading, that it was sort of like a pandora's box, you tumble down the rabbit hole you don't come out the same. Even mentioned the quote that I still don't know the source of, but the quote is " a mind once stretched cannot return to its original dimensions." and she didn't seem to understand that I could walk around with this 'hole in my heart' where a creator could fill me up, instead of filling that 'hole' if there was one and go on a ...continue a quest for truth and knowledge and such.

In the end, she told me why she believed and that she would pray that I would find my way. Whatever that means. I think she took it rather well. But when it comes to the Reverend. My dad, who wishes he was born Jewish instead of grafted in, probably, he would probably take my copy of the God Delusion away, along with my Humanist Bible and say that I've been corrupted by one of my online friends or someone I work with and not to associate with them any more, quoting that bible verse, 'bad company corrupts good morals' or whatever. That could just be my paranoia talking, but the fact remains, I'm not going to tell him until I am not living with him and moved out on my own or with my fiance and such.

But I took a step and told one of my parents, and my coworkers know, I told my sister who is a deep christian and a biology major at a university. And yeah. Woo, just wanted to share that. It feels so right saying ' I'm an atheist'  no uncertainty or anything of the sort that lingers when I say  I'm bisexual, which just means I have found my spiritual label but not quite my sexual one...

Well, this blog has come to an end.

Until ...

Ronni over and out.

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Comment by SteveInCO on February 20, 2013 at 9:12pm

Well if there is one thing I have noticed in all these sorts of stories, it's that you can't know how someone will react to this until you seem them do so.  (You may be "lucky" enough to see how they react to someone else's "coming out" first, but even then, you being their "loinfruit" could make a big difference either way--a parent who flipped out when their friend came out could be more accepting of you, or vice versa.)  It sounds like your mom was disappointed but not outright hateful toward you.  Of course that could change as she figures out this is not just some "phase" you are going through and you really are one of "them."

It must be oh so hard to be a Christian in a society dripping with all these worldly influences, I mean your kid might, despite your efforts to raise them righteously in the church, wind up gay or atheist or even *shudder* both!  (Yeah, right!  And tough shit.)

Good luck!

Comment by Frankie Dapper on February 20, 2013 at 11:13am

Way to go!

Comment by Michael Penn on February 20, 2013 at 6:59am

Congratulations on trying to find yourself. It is a lifelong journey and perfectly natural to want the support, nourishment, and advice of your creators. You have reached out to one of them now, and contact with the other one can come later in good time. Your parents have a desire to do this same thing, but they can never know the "creator in the sky." You are the honest person here. Good luck on your journey.

Comment by Loren Miller on February 20, 2013 at 6:34am

Obviously, the hole you supposedly have in your heart is one of your mother's conception and no fault or lack of your own.  What it sounds like to me is that you have been in the process of discovering just who this "Ronni" person is, and that's a pretty exciting and thrilling business.  Knowing who you are, OWNING that knowledge at its core and beginning the process of revealing and possessing your authentic self may be the single most important thing any human being ever does.  Yet how often to people actually succeed at that?  Indeed, are kids ever really encouraged to indulge in the kind of self-reflection and study which allows that kind of discovery?

Congratulations to you!



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