AN: I wrote an advertisement for the religious plea in the voice of a lawyer or something. My cynicism glad was about to burst, so I had to write this. Of course, it can also be read and commented upon at Good reason News.

Have you committed a crime, but now the courts want to punish you? How dare they!? Maybe it's time YOU try pleading religion. It's better than the insanity plea, cause you have to prove you're insane. Pleading religion requires no justification or reason, it's the perfect defense. It's so effective, even that pesky U.S. court system can't stop it. Look, just yesterday Carl Worthington who killed his adorable 15-month-old child got a mere 60 day sentence., No, that's not a typo, it's really 60 days. See, the baby developed

pneumonia and a blood infection, complicated by an untreated cyst on her neck that affected her breathing.

A simple doctor's visit could have put her on the road to wellsville, but you know health care is so darned expensive these days, maybe Jesus can help.

Now, usually parents who are so irresponsible that they kill their children are punished far more severely, but these people have a 5-year-old they haven't killed yet, so the courts decided to give them a go at that one? Why? They plead religion!

But perhaps child murder ain't your bag. If you're into animal torture, but don't have the NFL's legal team, the religion plea will still be there for you.

A federal appeals court reversed a lower court's ruling on Friday that barred a Santeria priest from sacrificing goats in his Texas home, saying a city's decision to prohibit the ritual violated the man's religious rights.

Talk about a scapegoat! Even after murdering furry little creators in his home for no good purpose and without any health regulations, Jose Merced of Texas plead religious and was simply asked to not do it again. But with religion on your side, why that's not even good enough. Merced simply visited a higher court and now he can reenact Texas Chainsaw Massacre with goats playing the innocent campers all day long!

Yes, with religion in America, you can get away with just about anything. Whether you like molesting children, setting fires and, soon, selling black market organs! Pleading religion, try it for your insanely inhumane crime today!

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Comment by Billy Deaton on August 3, 2009 at 1:19am
I'm not convinced common sense has prevailed in the Neumann case. He faces up to 25 years, but I'm guessing he'll get under five years because, as you know, courts feel it isn't there place to question religion. Let's both hope I'm wrong.
Comment by Steven Nunn on August 2, 2009 at 9:00pm
Wow, I guess I missed the boat here. Information I could have used BEFORE my kids were grown. There's always the grandchildren.....
Comment by Jerry on August 2, 2009 at 11:41am
Common sense prevailed for once in Wausau, WI when Dale Neumann was convicted of killing his 11 year old child. I guess gawd was busy at a baseball game the day Neumann and his friends prayed for healing. Priorities, priorities! Let's hope a higher court doesn't reverse this one. Do I hear an amen?
Comment by Billy Deaton on August 1, 2009 at 6:41pm
Yeah, if only all business was so easy.
Comment by JayBarti on August 1, 2009 at 5:20pm
Now that's one hell of a sales pitch.



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