Dear Jesus,

When are you coming back for your sequel? Part one was really good! You know what they say: Sequels suck! The truth is, they usually do. But of course they would suck, without "Jesus Christ Superstar". Can you tell me at least some of the plot? I can hardly wait for the End of Days myself. I heard that you are going to raise every true believer from the dead! That would be so cool and kind of gross at the same time! Is everyone going to look their old selves or are they going to look all zombie like? Have you seen the Walking Dead?  I really want to know who Negan beat the shit out of.  I know you know. You know everything, you're the son of God(and God too. Yeah I still don't know how you pull that one off!)  I hope it wasn't Glenn, or Maggie. Maggie's hot. I usually fantasize about her a lot. But don't worry, I just keep repeating your name and that turns a stiff one soft in no time! Well, God,or Jesus, I've gotta go to church, but I just wanted to humbly pray for a few things:  I pray that Christian man Trump gets elected. We so need to be a Christian nation again, just like Jesus said about America in the Bible and Thomas Jefferson said in the Constitution of the Declaration of Independence. I pray that I become rich. I really need the money and I've already given you so much at church already. So I would appreciate if you could hook me up. Thanks a lot Jesus! See you soon(fingers crossed)!

Your number one fan,

Your Truest Believer

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Comment by Daniel W on July 23, 2016 at 10:35am
Mike, damn! No wonder my prayers are never answered. I didn't know any of those things.
Comment by Michael Penn on July 23, 2016 at 10:22am

Daniel, we all know that to get prayer answered effectively you have to hold your tongue a certain way inside your mouth, balance on one leg, and try not to fart. If it doesn't work you are doing it wrong.

Comment by Daniel W on July 23, 2016 at 9:04am
If we are lucky, Teump anf his first Lady, Evita, will bring Jesus back into our lives. Keep praying, we all know how effective prayer is.
Comment by Michael Penn on July 23, 2016 at 8:46am

OK James. I had to come back with a semi-scientific blog on Jesus ascending into heaven. If we believe he went up in the air almost 2000 years ago and raised high up like a helium balloon until he was out of site, he might still be in our universe. His rate of travel says he might not have reached heaven yet. Also, if heaven is in another universe as modern believers are saying now, you know he's not there yet unless you believe lots of sci fi stuff.

BTW, god and heaven have now been put into a "spiritual universe" so they can be removed from our universe and that way nobody can prove or disprove them. Yes, god pops in and out of our universe at will and nobody even knows he was here. He's sort of like my childhood friend that followed me everywhere. He travels between the 2 universes sort of like a fish that can travel between 2 fish bowls.

Comment by James on July 20, 2016 at 3:34pm

I remember reading that his first followers believed he would come back during their lifetime. Boy, they must have been disappointed. You would think that the faith should've died out due the lack of follow through on God's behalf. "I'll be right back. Wait there until I shall return!"

Comment by Michael Penn on July 18, 2016 at 8:56pm

Yeah, I like Maggie too. As for the one Negan killed it was Glen in the comic books. I'll bet it is Abraham in this series.

As for that "Christian man Trump" that's exactly why so many people like him. He's going to "make American great again." He's a billionaire and we all know it. This translates into "elect Donald and America will have lots of money and jobs again." They see hidden leadership even if Donald doesn't have a plan.

BTW, the "end of days" already started. It started when Jesus said he would come back in the lifetime of his followers. When that failed we knew the "end times" were here because it turned into "only god knows the time and the hour." I've figured that god uses a different clock than we do.

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