Just a summary

Church to me, felt/feels like a chore. I know the people there will act so holy in church and when they are back home, they go back to their greedy lives. I've always noticed how women would wear their best clothes to church like it was a fashion show. I actually started questioning the bible when I was 12 or 13. I asked my sunday school teacher if the bible was completely valid or reliable after being translated so many times. His answer, I can't remember exactly was 'Yes the translators don't mess up scripture'. And he left it at that and moved on.

At that age, I had no clue what agnostic or atheist was. I was never exposed to it until I was 14. I was in an art class with a guy who said 'fuck god'. But somehow, I wasn't very mad. I felt pity for him, because his father, a bishop had disowned him, because he no longer believed in god. I thought that was hypocritical of the father. A few people I've come across who have been disowned by their Christian parents, had been on my mind last November. I then went to google and searched for bible contradictions and low and behold www.evilbible.com was like the first result. I was thinking 'Hey, maybe this is a Satanism site or something,' but no, it told the plain truth about the bible and I could do nothing but check my bible and confirm its statements. I cried and prayed for a few days that God would reveal himself to me and everyone at the same time. I said something to this effect "If you do exist and you want me to know you exist, let all the world know. Heal everyone from their sicknesses at the same time and let everyone look for each other to talk about how you revealed yourself to them." And nothing.

I had actually forced myself to take a bible literature class last spring semester, and I felt like I needed to read the bible more, since I hadn't done so. I got a D in the class and didn't really know why, until now. The class pointed out lots of contradictions and obvious changes or different texts in books like Matthew, Luke.(the gospels). It was overwhelming. Somehow, I thought this would be a bible study class. It focused more on authorship, credibility, and facts, not faith. I hardly read the bible, but I read more than I would have, because of the final grade. Even after the class, I still believed in God and still went to church on campus (now i don't, but i do back home with my family)

I haven't been to church with my family since May, and I've come out to my parents about not being a Christian. I'm very happy to be free of brainwashing :).

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Comment by Orson_Zedd on March 14, 2009 at 2:37pm
I know it's hard, but you did the right thing. My parents don't understand how I can't accept faith over facts. I try my level best to explain I can't accept someone's word for it, just because it was what I wanted to hear.

Belief is very strong, we all have it, just in different things. I believe in science, reason, and people, because those things have never failed me, and I know they exist. One day, you'll be free of false religious convictions.

And I have no idea where I was going with this. I think I might have had a stroke, excuse me.



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