Chapter 4 hath arrived!!
Let’s groove tonight!!
“The man had relations with his wife Eve, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, "I have produced a man with the help of the LORD." Next she bore his brother Abel. Abel became a keeper of flocks, and Cain a tiller of the soil. In the course of time Cain brought an offering to the LORD from the fruit of the soil, while Abel, for his part, brought one of the best firstlings of his flock. The LORD looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not. Cain greatly resented this and was crestfallen. So the LORD said to Cain: "Why are you so resentful and crestfallen?”
Huzzuah! A boy is born!! With the help of the ‘LORD’? Was the ‘LORD’ the doctor or did he. . . sleep with Eve. ‘God’ is bisexual? First there is Cain then Abel. ‘God’ likes Abel more than Cain, so Cain naturally gets jealous. “‘Why are you so resentful and crestfallen?’” Is ‘God’ really that thickheaded? ‘God’ is showing support for one son and not the other. Is this the start of a fetish ‘God’ starts? He always goes for the shepherd boy. The two famous examples are Abel and then Moses. In fact there are a lot of shepherd boys, that ‘God’ “reveals” himself to. Ick!
“If you do well, you can hold up your head; but if not, sin is a demon lurking at the door: his urge is toward you, yet you can be his master." Cain said to his brother Abel, "Let us go out in the field." When they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother Abel and killed him. Then the LORD asked Cain, "Where is your brother Abel?" He answered, "I do not know. Am I my brother's keeper?" The LORD then said: "What have you done! Listen: your brother's blood cries out to me from the soil! Therefore you shall be banned from the soil that opened its mouth to receive your brother's blood from your hand. If you till the soil, it shall no longer give you its produce. You shall become a restless wanderer on the earth." Cain said to the LORD: "My punishment is too great to bear. Since you have now banished me from the soil, and I must avoid your presence and become a restless wanderer on the earth, anyone may kill me at sight." Not so!" the LORD said to him. "If anyone kills Cain, Cain shall be avenged sevenfold." So the LORD put a mark on Cain, lest anyone should kill him at sight. Cain then left the LORD'S presence and settled in the land of Nod, east of Eden.”
What does that first line mean? If you do well, that’s good; but if not, then sin will take you over. Great words of encouragement there, Cain . . . Abel is dead. NOOOOOOOoOoOoOooooOoOOOooOooooo *cough* OooOOoooo!!!!!!!!! God: “Where is Abel? I need to reveal myself to him *snicker, snicker*” Cain: “idk.” Question, if the ‘LORD God’ knows everything why must he ask where Abel is? So now Cain cannot grow anything, his green thumb has turned black, and on top of it all he is banished to—what am I reading that right? Cain is banished to NOD??? I was RIGHT!!! Eden was green because of Tiberium! Where is GDI? Wait if Adam and Eve and Cain are the only people on the earth, why should Cain fear someone killing him. ‘Lest anyone should kill him on sight.’ Who is this everyone? There’s no one else on earth!!
“Cain had relations with his wife, and she conceived and bore Enoch. Cain also became the founder of a city, which he named after his son Enoch. To Enoch was born Irad, and Irad became the father of Mehujael; Mehujael became the father of Methusael, and Methusael became the father of Lamech. Lamech took two wives; the name of the first was Adah, and the name of the second Zillah. Adah gave birth to Jabal, the ancestor of all who dwell in tents and keep cattle. His brother's name was Jubal; he was the ancestor of all who play the lyre and the pipe. Zillah, on her part, gave birth to Tubalcain, the ancestor of all who forge instruments of bronze and iron. The sister of Tubalcain was Naamah. Lamech said to his wives: "Adah and Zillah, hear my voice; wives of Lamech, listen to my utterance: I have killed a man for wounding me, a boy for bruising me. If Cain is avenged sevenfold, then Lamech seventy-sevenfold." Adam again had relations with his wife, and she gave birth to a son whom she called Seth. "God has granted me more offspring in place of Abel," she said, "because Cain slew him." To Seth, in turn, a son was born, and he named him Enosh. At that time men began to invoke the LORD by name.”
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz—Huh? What? So sorry, there, I must have dozed off. So yea, many people were born, got it. Jabal is the ancestor of all those who live in tents and have cattle; the working dude. And another thing, if they are in a city, why are there should be no tents, and just how did the people learn this? Jubal, the ancestor of instruments; the music dude. Tubalcain forges instruments. Really? Are the instruments of war? Swords are from iron and shields are from bronze. How did Cain’s kids suddenly know how to do iron and bronze-working , or even where to find iron and bronze? Ah, Lamech, or as I like to call him ‘blanky-blank’. And more plagiarism: Seth was the Egyptian god of the desert, storm, and violence. And just where are all these women coming from? Did Cain have…sex with Eve? Ew! Major, Major EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!
Chapter 4 is done!
Tune in next time for the continuing adventure in:
“Defeating the Bible—One Chapter at a time”!