My name is Leonard Francis and I'm new to all of this ATHEIST stuff and I have some problems. I would like to get advice from as many people as I can. First off I have to share that I'm SUPER SUICIDAL. I suffer with a huge depression problem that I'm getting treated for but nothing seems to work. Anyway...I'm a black man from the south and if you didn't know, black people from the south take GOD very seriously. They pray about any and everything. From paying bills,how to feel,what to do,where to go, what to buy, winning football games,job changes, EVERYTHING. When things don't go my way or I need something all they do is say "take it to GOD". Well I've been doing that for over 30 yrs and to tell you the truth, Ive never really been happy at all. Nothing ever seems to work out for me no matter how much I've prayed or how hard I tried. A few years ago I came to the conclusion that maybe there isn't a GOD at all. EVERY SENSE THEN MY LIFE HAS GOTTEN WORSE AND WORSE. I lost everything I owned. I lost my job and I was hopeless. Hell...I'm almost homeless again cause the month is almost up and I still have no job to pay rent. I get very depressed and even tried to kill myself several times recently. I'm so pitiful that I can't even do that right.
I'm the only one I know who really doesn't believe in GOD and everyone say its cause I've blasphemed. That things won't ever get better cause I disowned GOD. But when I did believe and prayed very hard...I got nowhere. They say its cause I didn't have enough faith, but its hard to believe in something good when everything always goes wrong no matter how hard or how much I try. I really don't understand the whole "BIBLE" thing cause it really doesn't make sense to me. I can't just "UP AND START PRAYING" just cause everyone else is doing it. Can't GOD understand that?
Everything went bad for me. My job was lost,severe back problems, homelessness you name it. WHAT CAN I DO TO TURN THINGS AROUND? I can't get a job for nothing, and to top it off...I can barely walk or stand for a long period of time cause of my back.
IS THERE ANYWHERE I CAN GO FOR ADVICE? IS THERE A ATHEIST CHURCH OR SOMETHING TO GO TO FOR GUIDANCE? WHERE CAN I GET A JOB WHO DOESN'T DISCRIMINATE ABOUT RELIGION OF LACK OF? HOW DO ANY OF YOU PROSPER? SHOULD I BELIEVE IN GOD? HOW CAN I TURN MY LIFE AROUND? PLEASE HELP ME!!!
PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE...... ANYONE ANYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!