Finally, legislative protection for men's heath too.

New Texas bill takes aim at men's masturbation habits
Houston's Jessica Farrar files "men's health" legislation

[Houston Chronicle]


HOUSTON — Texas State Rep. Jessica Farrar, D-Houston, filed a bill Friday that would penalize men for "unregulated masturbatory emissions."


The satirical House Bill 4260 would encourage men to remain "fully abstinent" and only allow the "occasional masturbatory emissions inside health care and medical facilities," which are described in the legislation as the best way to ensure men's health.


Farrar said she created the bill after feeling fed up with the various legislative bills introduced by men addressing women's healthcare.


"A lot of people find the bill funny," Farrar said in a phone interview. "What's not funny are the obstacles that Texas women face every day, that were placed there by legislatures making it very difficult for them to access healthcare."


A man would face a $100 penalty for each emission made outside of a vagina or medical facility. Such an emission would be considered "an act against an unborn child, and failing to preserve the sanctity of life," according to the legislation.


. . . Her latest bill also seeks to provide men with a safe and healthy environment during vasectomies, Viagra uses and colonoscopies by creating "A Man's Right to Know" booklet that should "exactly follow the rules and procedures of the informational booklet "A Woman's Right To Know," required to be given of women terminating pregnancies.


During the consultation, the physician would verbally review the booklet with men and would be required to "administer a medically-unnecessary digital rectal exam and magnetic resonance imagining of the rectum," according to the bill.


Farrar said she included this part of the bill to mimic the trans-vaginal ultrasound woman have when they are seeking an abortion. She also described the doctor reading the "Woman's Right To Know" pamphlet as a "guilt mechanism."

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Comment by Bertold Brautigan on April 12, 2017 at 9:38pm

@Andrew - What happened to Everything's bigger in Texas?

Comment by Andrew on April 11, 2017 at 10:05pm
Texas? Way too easy. Pick on someone your own intellectual size.
Comment by Bertold Brautigan on March 17, 2017 at 4:23pm

Nice. Barry Goldwater was quoted as saying Someone ought to give Falwell a kick in the ass. It was reported that the quote was cleaned up for prime time, and that he'd actually referred to a pair of male organs.

And one of my favorite Hitchisms is Cheap booze is a false economy.

Comment by Grinning Cat on March 17, 2017 at 4:19pm

No shit, Bert!

And let's not forget the (lamentably) late Christopher Hitchen's assessment of the (thankfully) late Jerry Falwell: "If you gave Falwell an enema he could be buried in a matchbox."

Comment by BenGee on March 17, 2017 at 4:03pm

Lol Nice Bert

Comment by Bertold Brautigan on March 17, 2017 at 12:38pm

Hey, that's what friends are for. With friends like me, who needs enemas?

Comment by tom sarbeck on March 17, 2017 at 12:31pm
You are altogether too concerned for my welfare, Bert.
Comment by Bertold Brautigan on March 17, 2017 at 12:03pm

Tom--

Comment by tom sarbeck on March 17, 2017 at 1:54am
A man would face a $100 penalty for each emission made outside of a vagina or medical facility, according to the legislation.

That wet dream 75 years ago would have bankrupted me. How many bankruptcies would they have allowed before they jailed me, in a straitjacket?
Comment by Bertold Brautigan on March 15, 2017 at 11:02pm

Great pisstake, Daniel. I loved that the guy receiving offensive emails was asking for it if he'd been using a "coquettish font" like helvetica.

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