Finally, legislative protection for men's heath too.

New Texas bill takes aim at men's masturbation habits
Houston's Jessica Farrar files "men's health" legislation

[Houston Chronicle]


HOUSTON — Texas State Rep. Jessica Farrar, D-Houston, filed a bill Friday that would penalize men for "unregulated masturbatory emissions."


The satirical House Bill 4260 would encourage men to remain "fully abstinent" and only allow the "occasional masturbatory emissions inside health care and medical facilities," which are described in the legislation as the best way to ensure men's health.


Farrar said she created the bill after feeling fed up with the various legislative bills introduced by men addressing women's healthcare.


"A lot of people find the bill funny," Farrar said in a phone interview. "What's not funny are the obstacles that Texas women face every day, that were placed there by legislatures making it very difficult for them to access healthcare."


A man would face a $100 penalty for each emission made outside of a vagina or medical facility. Such an emission would be considered "an act against an unborn child, and failing to preserve the sanctity of life," according to the legislation.


. . . Her latest bill also seeks to provide men with a safe and healthy environment during vasectomies, Viagra uses and colonoscopies by creating "A Man's Right to Know" booklet that should "exactly follow the rules and procedures of the informational booklet "A Woman's Right To Know," required to be given of women terminating pregnancies.


During the consultation, the physician would verbally review the booklet with men and would be required to "administer a medically-unnecessary digital rectal exam and magnetic resonance imagining of the rectum," according to the bill.


Farrar said she included this part of the bill to mimic the trans-vaginal ultrasound woman have when they are seeking an abortion. She also described the doctor reading the "Woman's Right To Know" pamphlet as a "guilt mechanism."

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Comment by Bertold Brautigan on March 15, 2017 at 11:02pm

Great pisstake, Daniel. I loved that the guy receiving offensive emails was asking for it if he'd been using a "coquettish font" like helvetica.

Comment by Daniel W on March 15, 2017 at 9:23pm

In a parallel but not identical mode, this from Tracey Ullman

Comment by Joan Denoo on March 15, 2017 at 5:44pm

Bertold, how does one regulate "masturbatory emissions"? Does someone go around with a liter measuring device to collect bodily fluids? 

OH! She did it to call attention to the nonsense male legislators trying to regulate women's bodies. Good for her. 

Reminds me of the peak of the 1960s feminist movements around the world; Japanese women wore traditional kimonos and carried pink umbrellas around the homes of sexist legislators. 

Comment by Ruth Anthony-Gardner on March 15, 2017 at 4:05pm

LOL. Yeah, I saw the headline.

Comment by Thomas Murray on March 15, 2017 at 12:10pm

Shes got my support...... :)

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