A few years ago I realized that most Christians don't even know the Ten Commandments, so in an effort to learn them myself so that I may feel the smug sense of self-importance that many Christians feel, I came up with the following mnemonic to to aid me in my studies. I hope this helps a few of you learn them as well.

1 - I am The Shit. Put no other shit before me.

2 - Don't make shit look like The Shit.

3 - Don't call other shit The Shit.

4 - Treat Saturday like you would The Shit.

5 - Treat your father and mother like The Shit.

6 - Don't kill, unless The Shit says it's okay.

7 - Don't commit adultery like The Shit.

8 - Don't steal shit. Come on, even The Shit doesn't steal shit.

9 - Don't lie about shit.

10 - Don't want your neighbor's shit. Since The Shit treats women like shit, up to and including condoning rape, it's still not okay to want your neighbor's wife because she counts as his shit.

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Comment by nick connor on August 5, 2015 at 4:11pm

That's pretty clever. You must have spent so much time on that and it was really close to making me laugh. Maybe try a little harder next time and you'll be funny. Also, that wasn't really a mnemonic. All you really did was insert the word "Shit" into sayings to try to get others to be impressed with what is really probably something you heard elsewhere or found on the internet and decided to pawn off as your own original idea. Don't either bother replying to this though because you only have a precious about of life to live and I promise I'm not worth it. Actually, it would be a much better use of your 80-90 years to attack another worldview, because in the grand scheme of things it's extraordinarily important that you make it known that you believe in nothing.

Comment by nick connor on August 5, 2015 at 4:06pm

Comment by doubtingED on March 14, 2015 at 8:40pm
Great rendition of the 10. By all interpretations the shit still stinks! In whatever light you put them, it still sounds like man only worships himself, or whatever he creates in his own image.
Comment by Patrick Brown on March 13, 2015 at 9:29pm

Loren, point taken!

Though, I'm not sure how to make a pithy commandment about the Noah story ripping off Gilgamesh, which was a rip-off of a rip-off on its own.

Then again, the copyright had expired, which alleviates the theft component.

But I agree. I guess The Shit does steal.  (^.^)

Comment by Loren Miller on March 13, 2015 at 7:14am

The shit doesn't steal shit?!?  I don't think so, sure as hell not considering the multiple stories "borrowed" from The Epic of Gilgamesh, Hammurabi and elsewhere that make up their shit (and notice, I'm not capping it!).

So let's be real: a LOT of this shit ain't even original!

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