Greetings all. Welcome to my personal blog here at Atheist Nexus.
Apostacy is defined as a complete opposite change in ones beliefs, usually in politics or religon. This term really fits how my move to atheism came about. I started out a believer raised in a household with parents who believed in God but had fell out of belonging to an organized church. My mother was a baptized & confirmed catholic who attended mass every Sunday throughout her youth. Her first marriage was a catholic wedding at her parish. Her first husband was an abusive alcoholic. She was beaten badly and had to divorce him. The church placed alot pressure on her to reconcile beacause of thier stance on divorce. When she stood up for herself and said no and divorced her first husband, the church turned thier back on her. Members of the clergy told her that it was not right for her to take part in the religous practices at the church. My mother was devistated to learn that her safety was of no importance. She left the church she loved. She remained a believer until the day she died. Her faith never waivered but she was always hurt by this experience.
My apostacy began when I attended a catholic boarding school. My parents were looking to give me an edge in life and thought that sending me to boarding school was the answer. The years I spent there were filled with unspeakable physical & emotional pain. I was surrounded by a pack of rich self centered brats and there inbreed socialite parents who lived a life full of excess. During the day we were fed a steady diet of dogma, shame, and academics. At anytime of the day you were subject to horrific physical abuse at the hands of facility and students and clergy members. I suffered terrible beatens by dorm students and one particular clergy member which have followed me all of my life. Everytime it happened, I would pray to God that it would stop. My prayers fell upon my tear stained pillows. It never stopped. It only got better after the clergy member in question was transfered to another Parrish. This was the point that I started to doubt the existance of God. Why would god allow his servants and his flock to abuse me and the other children in this wAy? Why?
I will share more on my journey towards atheism in future blog posts. Feel free to send me comments and questions. I will be happy to answer. Thanks for viewing!