Like millions of Americans, I spent Thanksgiving with relatives. We sacrificed a turkey and took Holy Communion of its’ body and its’ blood with stuffing, mashed potatoes, football on TV....the works. And like many of you, I was the lone liberal atheist among a family of right-wing evangelical Jezuz worshipers. Now, these are actually good people in many ways. Decent, hard working, family-oriented, even funny sometimes. But, sadly, they have a mental disorder, Christian fundamentalism, with a side order of delusional thinking, homophobia, and paranoia. These characteristics come to the surface only occasionally but it's a fascinating thing to see. Kind of like a car wreck. Shocking and sad...but you just can't ignore it.
The first thing I learned about my wingnut relatives is that they have absolutely no doubt that Obama is going to get guns banned ASAP. I had heard that gun sales went ballistic after the election but I don't watch Fox and I'm not on the NRA's mailing list so I didn't pay much attention to it. Well, I’m pleased to report that taking away our beloved guns is Barack Hussein Obama's prime "secret" directive. I guess it's part of what the RNC meant by "Not Who You Think He Is". My relatives talked about "when" the gun ban happens, not "if" it happens. In their alternate reality, words (unless spoken by a Republican Christian) "Don’t Mean What You Think They Do". When the Prez-elect says something like "I favor measures that respect Second Amendment rights, while at the same time keeping guns away from children and criminals." the gun-totin’ crowd believes that this is his secret Satanic code for "ALL firearms will be confiscated immediately AND I'm going to force your kids to have gay sex with atheists". The fact that gun control is problem #947 on Obama's to-do list never registers on the tinfoil hat brigade's radar. To them, it's going to happen....soon....like the rapture, I suppose.
Is this paranoid and delusional? Clearly. Or, maybe this is just the sort of thing that happens when the non-thinking get their news and information exclusively from Bill-O and Rush.
Conversation overheard while in a Tryptophan coma while watching football on TV....someone flips through the channels during a commercial break and lands for a moment on the Ellen DeGeneres show.....
"You watch that queer?"
"No, I don't watch much TV"
"She's an abomination. Disgusting!"
Ellen? Sunny, cheerful, funny, likes-to-dance, harmless Ellen? An abomination?
I'll tell you what's an abomination.
Stoning a 13-year old rape victim, because the Koran says to, is an abomination.
Murdering foreigners in Mumbai (and London, and Bali, and NYC, etc., etc. etc.) in the name of Allah is an abomination.
Denying contraception to millions of poor Catholics - thereby encouraging the spread of AIDS - is an abomination.
Pedophile priests are an abomination. (As are ALL pedophiles)
Genocide and slavery are abominations.
Genital mutilation is an abomination.
The death penalty is an abomination.
CHRIST ON A BICYCLE, THE WHOLE CAREER OF CHUCK NORRIS IS AN ABOMINATION!!!
I need a long nap now.
Oh well. Dinner was excellent and I’m thankful for life, freedom, and I’m even thankful for my crazy family.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone.