Jesus H Christ, according to the Church of the Latter Day Dudes

Bearded prophet of the meek and early archetype of the 1960s hippie.

Jesus was born Jewish, but then converted to Dudeism after he realized that the Romans and the Pharisees were fucking fascists. Today lots of people think he’s the son of the guy who created the universe and that our life is in his hands. But probably he was just a dude who thought people should mellow out and stop getting so worked up about stuff. Sadly, few of his followers seem to actually realize that. Remember: There’s not a literal connection.’s Jesus Christ entry

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Comment by Michael Penn on July 20, 2015 at 7:25pm

Through the years I've come to think that Jesus may not have been historical. My reasoning is the 4 gospels and the fact that each has to tie in some story to connect his birth and surrounding events of the times in ways that vary his birth by up to 6 years! Which one of the 6 was he born in? It could not have been all of them. The ancient writers do his birth the same way that they write about fulfilled prophesy.

"this was done so that it might be fulfilled when the ancient writings said la la la." Who gives a damn? What kind of prophesy is that? If someone said that Darth Vadar was coming and I put on the helmet does that make me Darth Vadar?

Jesus was born in 1 AD. Let's connect him with the star. (There were 2 events of stars in the East.) No, Jesus was born in 4 BC. (But wait. Herod died in 4 BC and we all know about the bogus slaughter of the innocents.) According to Luke and his desire to put Jesus in the right place at the right time, the great "taxation story" would occur after "Cyrenius was govenor of Syria." That would have to be 6 AD.

None of these are correct. Nobody knows. It's all a jockeying of position to put Jesus in the right places so that he would be the one fulfilling prophesy. It's manipulated and created and says ZERO about an actual physical person called Jesus.

These people are so desparate that they write "they shall call his name Immanuel, which means god with us" and I never find that anyone called Jesus by this name!

We may not know who Jesus was today, but read the 4 gospels very closely and you will find that the early writers themselves did not have a clue! Jesus was and has become whomever you want him to be.

Comment by Gerald Payne on July 19, 2015 at 3:07am

I don't think there's enough evidence to consider Jesus an historical figure. At the time expectation was in the air with many claiming to be the Christ. The situation was ripe for the picking.

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