Learning How To Reach Theists Better Every Day

Hi all,

I have been a member of Atheist Nexus for a few years now, but have never posted a blog post until now. I joined several atheist forums and groups around the same time back when I joined this one, and have not gone back to them all to follow up.

I have always wanted to reach believers, especially since being a devoted Christian for 12 years myself and realizing the damage it did, as well as how easy it was to fall for it, even for someone like me who considers himself very intelligent.

My wife and I met in January 2017, and the first day we talked, I told her I was an atheist. She calls herself non-religious, as she believes in the Christian god but not in the way church is always done (hypocrisy, fake stuff, et cetera), and I am sure there are other things about organized religion with which she disagrees. She and I see eye-to-eye on religion: we both see problems with it and wish people would take off the masks and quit playing head games.

I ask my wife questions about who God is to her, why she believes, and things like that. I want to know all about her relationship with God. The way I see it, I know there is actually no god as I have ever seen him defined. Nonetheless, I respect her even as she believes in God. She was indoctrinated by her Baptist pastor father and her mother, and I do not see her ever leaving the faith. Nor am I going to try to get her to. I just want to get as close to her in this life as I can, and that includes knowing all about her concept of God. I think it will be a very beautiful experience getting to know her in this way, and it will certainly bring us closer. There is no danger of alienating my wife; she can decline to answer or talk about God at any time, and I never push the issue; nor do I feel the need to bring it back up if she does not want me to. Also, as respectful as we both are of each other, we can carry on deep conversations about it without anyone getting the least bit ruffled.

My experience with my wife makes me excited to reach out to other Christians as much as I can, and to show them how loving, accepting, compassionate, gentle, respectful, and honest an atheist can be toward a believer.

Mind you, I will be respectful, although not of any religion. I respect every believer as deeply as I do anyone else. I feel that that is highly important: we must respect the believer even as we decline to respect their belief.

I hope to find time to post more on this blog about how my wife and I are conversing about religion, God, and everything surrounding those topics for us. I also hope to find other believers to reach out to as I learn how better to connect with them and build bridges between theism and atheism.

Thanks for reading my long post! Have a great day, and I will see you back here soon!

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Comment by Joan Denoo on March 17, 2019 at 10:13pm

Jeffrey, when you write, "I have always wanted to reach believers," you continue your evangelical training of christianity. Why? Why bother? Life provides so many wonders one cannot absorb them all. People come and go in our lives and some will be non-believers in superhuman powers and most will believe in magic and have faith in myths.

My experience has been that most believers in superstitions make the advances, seeking to inform me or prove me wrong. I am just not interested in the conversation. If someone is sick or injured, the believers often state, "I will pray for you!" When directed at me I respond with a simple, "Thank you for your care." I make no mention of the prayer, after all, it is the care that they extend to me that matters. 

When someone asks me to what church or faith I belong and I simply state I am an atheist. Sometimes, that results in immediate proselytizing, other times, they often come back later with their script memorized. I tell them I have heard it all before and don't have time or interest to hear it again. 

I have not had someone close to me or a family member that I wanted to change. I do have relatives who are fundamentalist, born-again christians. At family reunions, they usually seek me out and we have good conversations. If/when they start their silliness, I walk away. If they ask me questions, I answer as honestly as I can. "if I am an atheist, to whom do I pray?" "How will I keep from going to hell?" "How can I be good without god?"

I know you will find a comfortable place with your wife and will have an outstanding life. 

I wish you great happiness and a long life with interesting people and fulfilling lives. 


Comment by Chris on March 17, 2019 at 7:35pm

Do you, are not know want to know about "Biblical studies", or history.

I doubt not.



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