I have been missing from this community for quite some time. I had a stroke in April 2011 and was focused on bettering myself for many years. My kids were 3yrs old and 15 months old when it happened. I went seven weeks with only seeing them once. When I got home, I still had much work to do. I am just starting to feel "normal" which is really a new normal because I will never feel my old normal again. I am nine years post stroke and I still get nauseated if I over do it, I still get dizzy in certain positions, and I still have some numbness on my right side.
But I hide it well. I am still a nurse. People that didn't know me before my stroke are amazed when I tell them I had one. They always say "Wow. You can't tell." and "god must have plans for you." Both of which I find frustrating as hell. You maybe can't tell, but I can. I worked my ass off (not really since I still have one) to get here. It was very hard work and I feel that my children suffered because I wasn't as present as I could have been, had that incident not happened. God had nothing to do with my recovery. I never once prayed to god or bargained with god. I was an atheist before my stroke and I am even more of an atheist now. I realized how much insurance played in my recovery. I spent 3 weeks at my local hospital and 4 weeks at the best inpatient rehab in the nation. Had I not had the insurance I did, this wouldn't had happened. And who knows what my recovery would have looked like. Being a nurse before helped me as well. I knew how important rehab was and I knew how important mental health was.
The support that I received from others was great. And those others can say that god directed them to do those helpful things. I am not going to tell them any different. And without the support of others, I don't know how we would have made it. I just get upset when people basically shrug off all the hard work I have done as well as the hard work my family has done
I wish I had visited this community more during my recovery to help me vent those things. That really isn't something the general population gets.
See you around.