Mother's day reminisces from a Freethought Mom

Now that my children are ‘emancipated’ - my baby turned 21 this year - I’ve been thinking back over the years, musing about my motherhood experiences.

I started late and had no real mother role model, so I had to learn the ropes as I went along. Luckily my daughter was born an adult, and remained an adult until 14, when she transformed into the evil teen from hell – for exactly 2 yrs – at which
time she returned to her more customary state of perfection. (Well, except for a little tendency to rag…)

My son was born when Cris was 6 – and as she was in full-blown adult mode, she was certain that SHE was his mother, and made no bones about watching over him like a hawk, giving me orders as she saw fit. She was usually right, too. Derek was born a boy. Male child. Different creature entirely. Probably nuff said – but in case you’re not sure what that means, he was definitely not an adult (not that babies are supposed to be adults!) He was into everything, constantly here, there and everywhere else. I was 40 and had a difficult pregnancy as well as
some chronic health problems, so I was and remain eternally grateful
that Cris was so maternally compelled. Two munchkin adults would have been weird, anyhow… and Derek certainly entertained us! He was funny… and he knew it. Nothing made him happier than to make the rest of us laugh.

Right around the time of Crissy’s teenage descent into a parental hell, my marriage ended. It was a tough time for the three of us – but I think we made the best of it. I was depressed, which sure didn’t help, Crissy was depressed, and Derek was confused. It took
a couple years, but we bought a new house together, and not too long after I met and then married my husband, Lee.

Those are the big things that happened – but the small things are what makes everything so special to me. The delight we three shared when we got our first pet – Cris named him Blew – she was into Nirvana then – and he turned out to be Mr. Cool, too. We rented a house in the country at first – and we loved being outdoors in the fields, playing in the trees. Cris was a gymnast, and a budding photographer, so she and her friends took control of our video camera – back then a box the size of a VCR, and made family movies. They remain delightful and fun to watch. She’d direct Derek – and he tried his best to do exactly what his idolized sister told him to do.

It wasn’t always perfect and wonderful by any means. There were plenty of hard times… money issues, health issues which wouldn’t go away for all three of us – asthma, hearing problems for Derek; I think I earned an associates medical degree by how much I had to learn and manage! And sometimes my heart still aches over things I 'should have done better'. Through it all, I tried to teach them to think, to love, and to do the right thing, to live a life of tolerance and acceptance and compassion for others, and make sure they knew that they could do anything they wanted to do, if they only applied themselves.


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