My answer to a friend who felt offended by a comment I made

Hi, XXXXXXX, I am glad, you did not seek to support your claim   (mutual friends contacted him and not me.)  That is a perfect way to maintain helplessness)   Those who contacted you and not me divulge a character that many people have, however, unless and until they confront me, they reveal a victim mentality. You are entirely correct; I did bully you. I have heard that before as well as being arrogant. I confess to both. 

Frankly I don't remember what I wrote to you. If I offended you, that is a fact. There is no imperative not to offend. 

I am very pleased you addressed the issues directly to me. Your contact reveals your character as not being a victim. You go directly to the source of your concern. Problems never get solved by actions that lead to no change. 

My style is abrupts and direct. Many people do not like it and correctly block me. Out of 7 billion people, a growing number seem to like what I write and my principles. I have no concern for those who do block me. You can trust that I write things people do not want to read. I am an old lady, a survivor of family violence, a single mom who raised three astonishing kids. I joined in the civil rights movement of the 1960s and got a billy club crack on my head from a mounted policeman. I marched in parades in support of blacks, gays, women, and I organized a group of people being exploited in a labor dispute. I created an organization to raise money for a chicken farm in Mexico where homeless children could be safe, secure and stable. The kids not only had a home, but they learned how to raise chickens for protein food, and how to sell eggs at the market. Those kids grew up with a work ethic instead of begging from tourists. I did not give them anything. I made it possible for children living in cardboard boxes and begging for a living into men and women who knew how to work and survive with dignity.  

Being a victim is a choice. Sure, there are conditions in which people become victims, and they have no choice. A slave in chains is a reality. Given that reality, a person can determine not to be victimized. Remember Roots, by Alex Haley? One of his stories was of Kizzy, a slave. That was her reality. Given her reality, she remained independent, defiant. She spits into the glass of water her slave master demanded. What a gal! Her physical body was in chains. No one could enslave her mind. 

XXXXXX is none of our business. 

Thank you again, XXXXXXX, for your contact. I take your words seriously knowing that I am guilty of bullying and confronting.  I do it intentionally to get people off their pity pot. I am not looking for friends or admirers. I am looking for people whose lives do not work well for them and provide a means to gain healthy, happy, self-sufficient lives. 

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Comment by Joan Denoo on April 26, 2015 at 9:35pm

I did not intend for the original to be posted. I checked very carefully before I posted and even looked at the draft.

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