This is a response to one of those emails that was floating around a while back. It was a poem, supposedly written by a 6th grade student, about liberals taking god out of everything U.S.

It's a little more aggressive than my usual approach but I was a little miffed. Since then my brother stopped sending me emails. Hm.


My Anthem


As I sit me down in church

I feel my stomach start to lurch.

My folks brought me, against my will

To numb my mind with archaic swill.

They sit me in this tortuous pew

To invoke the spirit of some long dead jew.

(And if I may interject so bold,

He was not real, I have been told.)

Sing his praises and to his glories,

They regaled me with fantastic stories.

He walked on water, made blind men see.

Just like the preachers on TV?

In the book there's many a tale

Like Jonah surviving inside the whale.

The trials of Job, though not his fault,

And Lot's wife turning into salt.

Noah's ark, demonic swine,

Turning water into wine.

Samson's hair, Methuselah's age,

And genocide was all the rage.

Virgin birth and divine conception

Fill me with much apprehension

And in the face of logic, fails

When they say, "Don't believe in fairytales."

"Beware the liars and deceivers,

Strangers, gays and non-believers.

Eye for eye and tooth for tooth,

Trust them not, for ours is the truth!"

Religious clerics, quite uncivil,

Spewing out their fascist drivel.

Loudly begging from their dockets,

"God needs money, turn out your pockets!"

Like Brothers Grimm, their stories mad

And to this day it makes me sad

That anyone would chance perceive

That this dross would make me believe.

These people think me rather odd

That I bend my knee to no man nor god.

Whilst I contemplate my navel fuzz

And say, "God's not dead, he just never was."

I'll bring this screed, now, to a close

And tell you something no one knows,

A prayer I've added to my list,

"I thank god I'm an atheist!"


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Comment by Andrew Garber on February 13, 2011 at 9:54pm
Bravo!!  I got that email at work and had to tie my hands to not hit the "reply all" button with something similar.  Well Done!!
Comment by Karen Loethen on February 13, 2011 at 7:47pm
Yeah, it's a bit rude for my taste...but I'm glad you posted it!
Comment by Alona Naga on February 13, 2011 at 2:58pm
you will get credit though.
Comment by Alona Naga on February 13, 2011 at 1:47pm
I'm sorry I have to steal
Comment by Jennifer W on February 12, 2011 at 3:53am
That was entertaining.



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