This is a response to one of those emails that was floating around a while back. It was a poem, supposedly written by a 6th grade student, about liberals taking god out of everything U.S.
It's a little more aggressive than my usual approach but I was a little miffed. Since then my brother stopped sending me emails. Hm.
As I sit me down in church
I feel my stomach start to lurch.
My folks brought me, against my will
To numb my mind with archaic swill.
They sit me in this tortuous pew
To invoke the spirit of some long dead jew.
(And if I may interject so bold,
He was not real, I have been told.)
Sing his praises and to his glories,
They regaled me with fantastic stories.
He walked on water, made blind men see.
Just like the preachers on TV?
In the book there's many a tale
Like Jonah surviving inside the whale.
The trials of Job, though not his fault,
And Lot's wife turning into salt.
Noah's ark, demonic swine,
Turning water into wine.
Samson's hair, Methuselah's age,
And genocide was all the rage.
Virgin birth and divine conception
Fill me with much apprehension
And in the face of logic, fails
When they say, "Don't believe in fairytales."
"Beware the liars and deceivers,
Strangers, gays and non-believers.
Eye for eye and tooth for tooth,
Trust them not, for ours is the truth!"
Religious clerics, quite uncivil,
Spewing out their fascist drivel.
Loudly begging from their dockets,
"God needs money, turn out your pockets!"
Like Brothers Grimm, their stories mad
And to this day it makes me sad
That anyone would chance perceive
That this dross would make me believe.
These people think me rather odd
That I bend my knee to no man nor god.
Whilst I contemplate my navel fuzz
And say, "God's not dead, he just never was."
I'll bring this screed, now, to a close
And tell you something no one knows,
A prayer I've added to my list,
"I thank god I'm an atheist!"