I was raised Christian, Baptist to be exact. I come from a very religious family, my grandmother was an active member in the church and taught me much of what I know about god. We would go to mission (which is like bible study) which I enjoyed only because they had fresh donuts. Since I was a little kid, I was never big on praying nor had I ever developed this love of god that Christians claim to have. I was however very much into natural and historical science (nothing like Chemistry and other sciences that deal with a lot of math) I would pray every night before I went to sleep but it didn't really mean anything to me. I hated church because one, it was boring, and two, nothing that they talked about really clicked with me, nevertheless, because I didn't want to go to hell I decided to be baptized. As I got older and began to watch and read more about science I started to realize that I agreed more with actual findings from the earth itself rather than the Bible. I would see books about Atheism but being afraid that god would see me reading them and punish me I wouldn't go look at them. I tried to salvage my Christianity by trying to force myself to believe that god did exsist and I delved into the Bible and prayers but realized that it was useless. I then became a Theist Evolutionist, again in an attempt to save myself from hell, thinking that it would be ok in god's eyes. I had always been afraid to turn to Atheism but now its a fact that I can't deny, I've thought and thought and analyzed Christianity and basically went over it with a fine tooth comb, I now realize that the belief in the christian god is no different from the beliefs of other gods. Christians say that others beliefs are silly and far-fetched but isnt the belief that an invisible man created the world in a week just as ridiculous? You can't imagine the relief and basic happiness I felt when yesterday I was able to really say to myself that I am an Atheist. I feel much better and more confident than I ever did trying to fool myself that I'm a christian. I haven't told my family members yet and for a while I wont. I still live at home and I think that if I came out about my beliefs that they'll be lots of tension and I might not have a place to stay anymore. Thank you for reading my story and please feel free to comment. You can't imagine how it feels to get all this off my chest.