Well it didn't last....we broke up twice really. First I told her to grow up, the second time we broke up she told me she wasn't happy. There were alot of things right with the relationship, but the thing that got us in the end was that her family didn't want us to be together. Sure it was ok that I was her brother’s best friend (her bro is on a mission and has been gone for 2 years, he doesn’t know about us yet. But will when he comes back next week) but beyond that they couldn't trust me. I am atheist and they are Mormon. If I were Mormon then they would automatically think that I wouldn't try to fuck her or in any sense corrupt her. I never tried to; I knew that she would feel so guilty about having sex before marriage that it would eventually consume her. After all that is part of what religion does, besides, our relationship wasn’t about sex, so I was ok about not having sex at all.
Why did we break up? It was because of me actually. Now that I think of it I was so insecure because none of her family and friends trusted me nor did they want us together. Being the eldest and first daughter in her family her mom had the dream that her favorite daughter would follow the Mormon norm (and her mother’s footsteps) and date, and eventually marry a Mormon returning missionary. They made it blatantly obvious that she wished it. To add to my insecurity and paranoia Sarae (my ex) admitted that she wished I was a RM (returning Missionary) so that I might fulfill her dream of marrying one some day. She told me that she would always have that dream. I felt that she could never really love me because of that and took my frustration out on her, not meaning or knowing that I was. So she became unhappy because it’s her nature to please people (after all that’s what a good Mormon girl does) and she couldn’t please everyone. So as an act of self empowerment (yes I tried to teach her) I told her to take a minute and choose what she would want for herself and go for it even though it won’t please everybody. I told her it didn’t matter if I didn’t like it the choice was hers. Needless to say she chose to end the relationship. I still am in love with her and I am afraid I always will be. I will get over it in time but I will always have a thing for her. I just hope she learned a lot about herself. I really wished it would have worked out, and that those around her, could have been more accepting.

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