I'm fairly well inebriated (2/3 bottle of wine), or I would never say some of this. Enjoy. Please comment. Not really a common thing for me to be drinking to excess, but more common recently. An excess of anger/frustration that needs to be muted, perhaps.
Ahem, edited. More humorous, less cynical and snotty.
There are no rules. Officially.
Um, and don't fucking tell anyone you have rules. Not that you would. It's just a bad idea. It tips off people to how you think, and gives them an advantage on you. (okay, you have to admit this is a little funny, seeing as it's in a list of rules) (I'm not particularly concerned, because I have a lot of other rules that I'm not telling you)
Never lie to yourself. Always be honest about what your own intentions are, no matter how good or bad you think they might be. Both are valid, and you might turn out to be wrong about which is which. The important thing is to know what your true feelings are and recognize them instead of trying to spend a lot of mental time working your way around the things you think are bad.
Don't waste time feeling bad about lying about things sometimes. Be consistent about what or how you lie -- partly to reduce your risk of getting caught, partly to give you some reality to hold on to. Stay true to that, and make rules that you stick to. For example, I never lie directly. I omit like a motherfucker, but I try very hard to avoid actually uttering an untruth.
Life is wonderful, beautiful, ecstatic. Enjoy every moment of it that you can. This is the most important rule for me, the center of how I live and love, as it should be for any atheist/nontheist. This is a pretty safe rule to share, I think.
People suck. They always will, except in the few cases that they sometimes don't. Don't be too fucking surprised when it turns out that they suck too, sometimes. We wish that they didn't. But they always do.
Love is precious. Shelter and nuture it at every opportunity you can, even if it breaks every rule you have. Especially when it breaks every rule. It will suck, too, eventually, but it is always worth the effort. The only things in my life that I truly regret are the times that I turned my back on the opportunity to be a friend, or to love.
People are the reason that we live, even when they suck. Never forget that. Give back, and give generously of your attention and time. Even when you know that it's stupid, and that they aren't going to appreciate it. It might turn out okay, and it never hurts to try. And show respect to people who do, because it's really fucking hard to do.
Having to be patient is really awful, but sometimes you have to do it to get what you want. Sometimes it takes a while, but if it's worth it, you do it anyway. Suck it up, slacker.
I don't have a #10, because I think lists of ten indicate arbitrariness. Is that a word? I like it, even if it isn't. I have an endless number of rules; these are just the ones I think are most important.
Drunk digression deleted. Much too self-pitying. Revolving almost entirely around rule #6 and #9. wah wah wah. poor me.