I came to atheism after much inquiry, self-reflection, and rational thought, at the end of last year.  My wife and I married in a Protestant church 3 years ago, after I thought I had a personal revelation, which was, in effect, a realization of my own potential to take control of my life.  I was raised Catholic, and went through all the hoops/sacraments.  I am now engaged periodically in an uncomfortable discussion with my wife as to how to raise or 2 children.  I am of the opinion that the bible should be read along with other fairytales, if at all.  If, at best, the bible may serves to cultivate imagination in my children, why not simply read children's books to/with them to their heart's content?

She had recently told me that she was doubting everything she had been taught, having faith (temporarily) "beaten" out of her by my atheistic rants.  I have chosen to cool my jets and adopt the opinion that I should treat belief in a sky wizard/prayer/holy spirit, in the absence of evidence, much as a concerned parent would a child who is dating someone they know to be unhealthy for said child.  The emotions and adolescent passion of the child are to be dealt with delicately, until such time as the child learns the truth of their poor choice.  Afterall, because she was not argued into faith in the first place, it will always be hard to rationally justify doubt to someone who still believes.

It's really difficult right now to assure her that although I don't respect anyone's faith-based belief systems, I still respect her as a person.

Does anyone have any advice for a young father and husband?

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Comment by Grace Fitzpatrick on March 14, 2011 at 3:24pm
I think you are on the right path.  My dh was an atheist and I was an Xian when we met.  He played it cool and his rationalism eventually won out over my irrational beliefs.  You cannot "argue" anyone out of beliefs they truly believe and cherish in their hearts.  The doubts were there before you.  You have just strengthened them.    Keep on the path you are on and she may turn around on her own.
Comment by matt warren on March 14, 2011 at 3:23pm

although we have no kids (she is a 4 and hopefully 5x cancer survivor) I find myself in a similar situation.

I call it my personal darwins dilema.

I have read those books and seen the vid and she , I know wont touch them.

luckely she is a scientist. (i know..i know....) so what I am doing is when she walks into the room I switch on some heavy sciency video on utube or ggl and let the astrophysicysts and other scientists take over so to speak.

so what am I saying....

deluge the little rats with science more than fairy tail stuff and they may get it. when your wife sees this she may pick it up from them.

be patient.

and remember that darwin went through the same thing.



Comment by Andrew Seymour on March 14, 2011 at 3:05pm


I have read the first three books that you mentioned, but I will give the others a look, too.  Thank you for the suggestions!

Comment by Andrew Seymour on March 14, 2011 at 3:05pm


I have seen the Julia Sweeney video.  I wonder if my wife would watch it with me.

Comment by FeminAtheist Mumbo Jumbo on March 14, 2011 at 2:37pm

I cannot recommend enough Julia Sweeney's video Letting Go of God.  I'd write more, but I have to leave and go teach music. 



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