Rare type of gastric (stomach) cancer. Health plan is slow about scheduling the biopsy - will not know what to expect until then. Surgery for certain. Maybe chemotherapy. 80% chance for malignancy based on size - CT scan and endoscopy. Size / shape is like an Idaho russet potato.
Somewhere I read, there can be denial, grief, bargaining, anger. I feel none of that. Just, it is what it is. It's a notable moment, I guess. But not like when I saw my parents' decline as real, or when I worked in a toxic work environment. Those were horrible. This.... just is.
Diagnosis came due to an episode of abdominal pain. Searing, it dropped me to the floor. Today, pain is not severe. Which I'm glad about. Burps, changing position, moderately deep inhalation are very painful. Expect to be back to work on Thurs. Apparently the sudden pain occurred due to hemorrhage, into the tumor.
I looked at my belly in the mirror today. I think there might be a little bulge over the left upper quadrant. That's where it's still tender. Not sure.
Maybe a few weeks to get the biopsy. Stupid health plan. Dumb, making someone wait so long. But meanwhile, just continue doing the best I can.
Will update here when I know more. Life has taken me many places, physical, mental, emotional, experiential, relational. Maybe this will be one more.
Meanwhile, I hope I'm not in surgery when the honeybees arrive. The hive is ready for them.