If you think about “the game” excessively after it’s over, think you’re an expert on your sport when really you’re just a big fan, start arguments and discuss theories with other like minded men, explain rules and situations from your game to people who have absolutely no interest in sports, I just want you to know, YOU’RE A FUCKING NERD!
I’m fucking sick of all these sport geeks babbling constantly about football players, or golf or some other boring arse game, like they’re tough men’s men, when to me you’re worse then the most talkative trekkie. Why is it okay for any man, friend or stranger, to come up to me and question me out of nowhere about their favourite sport? Because I’m a man I must also love that specific game too, right? The worst thing about these questions is they’re meant to be friendly conversation starters, but really they’re just some unsubtle nerd who can’t wait to tell you what they think. And what they think is usually regurgitated insights from some sports talk show or some dude down the pub, some rehearsed little tirade all meant to make them look like a rugby genius.
If I went up to some random guy and asked him, “Which is a better series, Buffy or Angel?” and he says he doesn’t like the show, has barley even seen one episode, and I went on to explain in depth why Angel is better, I would be considered a pushy geek, would be ridiculed, and I would be wrong to not be embarrassed. But the same conversation about two football teams and it‘s just guy talk, right? The other guy should be embarrassed for not knowing what I was talking about, right?
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve nothing against nerds or geeks or whatever, I’ve been one for years. My problem is that sport nerds think everyone likes sport as much as them, and think it’s cool and even masculine to go around gossiping about it like old women. Your not cool, you’re a tiresome bore. Dr Who nerds would bore me too, but they don’t insist on talking to me about it.
While I’m at it, car nerds can go fuck themselves too, because they’re getting just as bad! I get it, girls like cars, but when you go around talking about engines and telling me what Jeremy Clarkson thinks, you’re not being cool. Seriously, that’s some excruciatingly boring shit your spouting, so stop calling yourselves “Revheads” or “Petrolheads,” you fucking child.