Random Shit That Annoys Me, ep 1, People Who Don't Play Video Games

So, my family and I have come to an agreement. I don't have to go to church, in exchange I'll stop telling them that I don't want to go to church.

As such, Church Adventures is more or less suspended and will only appear on the off occasion that I go to church for odd family functions where my not-going would put me in a situation of far more annoyance than going.

Therefore, in lieu of Church Adventures, I've decided to start: Random Shit That Annoys Me.

This week: Video Games. Not the games themselves, but the people who don't play them. There's nothing inherently wrong in not-playing video games. Actually, I invite people who do to try not and see the world some time.

I'm annoyed at the subset of people who don't-play video games who think video games are the bane of society. Particularly the subset of the subset who think that video games significantly influence behavior. The people who obviously don't play them, haven't watched anyone play them, but condemn them along with the other things they don't have first or reasonable second hand knowledge of.

This comes up as I am playing a video game called Assassin's Creed II. At load up, I'm reminded that the game was created by a staff of diverse religious and social backgrounds etc. etc. stuff that doesn't really matter. Why the fuck should I care? I either enjoy the game, or I don't -- as I imagine most people playing it do. I also imagine that, all other things being equal, if the game was made exclusively by the puppy-eating, cross-dressing, half-moon-only worshiping division of Ubisoft, I would find the game exactly as enjoyable as I do now.

It didn't take me too long to figure out why. One kills people of religious significance or particular beliefs as per the whole fucking plot. In one assassination, one even kills an atheist. As the story develops one discovers that religion is just one aspect but I won't go into it on the off chance that I'll spoil it for someone else.

Suffice to say, I highly suspect that that disclaimer was there to serve one purpose: assuage the concerns of religious gamers, to gently stroke their fears into submission. Well fuck them. Grow a backbone or thicker skin, deal with it. I understand why Ubisoft does that. They're not in the market for making anti-religious games (Assassin's Creed isn't even really an anti-religion game) and they need the delicious money from gamers -- a majority of whom are likely religious -- a fraction therein are either spineless or thin-skinned.

This brought up another old grievance I have with regards to Mass Effect, a grievance I fear will resurface when Mass Effect II comes out. In Mass Effect, one can play a lesbian. I did, it was awesome. But that's not awesome for everyone. It's particularly not awesome for people who don't play video games. People like the Country of Singapore who, in their infinite wisdom, totally banned the sale of Mass Effect for a short period. People like Kevin McCullough who said that one could rape, sodomize, AND murder anyone in the game -- I don't know if Kevin has played Mass Effect -- in fact I think it's safe to assume he has never played Mass Effect. I don't know what game he was playing where he raped, sodomized, AND murder anyone -- but that game was not Mass Effect. Speaking as someone who has had delicious lesb-alien sex in the concerned game, I can tell you that one cannot rape, sodomize, OR murder anyone -- play it for yourself if you're so concerned or unconvinced.

(Disclaimer: if alien sideboob is the equivalent of rape, sodomy, or murder in your mind; I am not responsible for your idiocy)

This is similar to the outrage at RockStar for a scene in their GTA series that they REMOVED FROM THE ACTUAL GAME, but some code-happy gamer managed to find.

This is also similar to the outrage at a game that was never released at all called 6 Days in Falluja about a boy and his dog on an adventure of a lifetime -- I mean 6 days in Falluja. The unjustified outrage is made all the more strange as both Modern Warfare games are more or less identical in setting while at the same time not being totally abandoned by their developers in response to unsustainable, reactionary opinion.

All of which feeds into my hypothesis that people are stupid, that the more people that are involved in making far-reaching decisions, the probability of an unreasonable result coming to fruition approaches one.

This also feeds into my corollary that people will often come to very definite conclusions based on things for which they have no knowledge or framework.

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Comment by Johnny on December 7, 2009 at 5:11am
LOL! i'm using that next time Louis!!!
Comment by Fabio on December 7, 2009 at 3:33am
Three words on Mass Effect. Best. Game. Ever. Until Mass Effect 2 comes out, at any rate.
Comment by Emekan A'dem on December 6, 2009 at 10:56pm
*twitches*
...I got into Assassin's Creed after first getting hooked on Prince of Persia. Which is kinda ass backwards since AC came first (I think), but...*twitches*

The graphics are so awrsurm...moar...
Comment by Louis on December 6, 2009 at 9:57pm
@ Outlaw: the best response is to say "Oh, I'm not an asshole"

Honestly, all at once they express an absence of knowledge as well as condemnation. It's a very special kind of stupid.
Comment by OutlawGirl on December 6, 2009 at 9:19pm
What I hate most is people who, when you mention a game you like, wrinkle their nose and say, "Oh, I don't play video games." They're almost as bad as the snobbish bookworms who are proud to tell you that they "Don't watch television." (I mean, I don't watch much television either, just a few shows here and there... but at least I'm not smug about it.)
Comment by Marshall on December 6, 2009 at 7:15pm
I love this post...wait a minute...you said that people are stupid, and I'm a people; ergo you are calling me a person...wait...no...ummm...forget it. Anyway great post from a fellow gamer!

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