Religions, based on Abrahamic faiths, operate in terms of dominion, ownership, hierarchy, exploitation, and manipulation.We see it all around us in the policies and practices of the institutions of our lives. I see it in my family. One grandmother came from a long line of Puritans with a very strong sense of patriarchy. Her husband, my grandfather came from a rigid Roman Catholic background with a strong sense of patriarchy. As I observe my family as a participant observer, I see a lot of legalisms, of control issues, especially men with power over women and children that was brutal. I observed it in my husband's family. I didn't know how to break free from that fascism, and neither did my mother nor did my two grandmothers. We had reason to leave, any mentally healthy person could have told us that. However, the social systems could not see what I saw. By social systems, I mean family, education, health care, law enforcement and laws. My poor mother tried to break away and could not. There were no social systems standing with her as she tried her very best to get out from under my father's fist. It took until I was 37 years old to break away.
By social systems, I mean cultural norms of family, education, health care, law enforcement and laws. My poor mother tried to break away and could not. There were no social systems standing with her as she tried her very best to get out from under my father's fist. It took until I was 37 years old to break away.
Breaking free was not easy. I could not open a bank account, borrow money, do the normal things of living until and unless I had the permission of my father, husband or son. My father and husband were immature, childish thugs; my sons were children growing up under the influence of their thuggish father. I had no choice! I had to get out.
I did get out. We lived in a tent for almost a year. I had a job that paid minimum wage. I bought a condemned building with $200.00 down and a loan from a bank for $12,000.00 after I had worked a year. We worked on the house creating a beautiful, safe, secure, stable home with no violence allowed. We learned life skills so that we could create a civilized lifestyle.
I now have three mentally healthy children, four healthy grandchildren, and six healthy great-grandchildren. No violence allowed in any of the individuals and they have great skills in communicating, problem-solving, resolving conflict, planning, budgeting, imagining, creating, exploring, and risking. It is the job of each to reveal to us his and her natures, interests, ways to be independent.
I did not have babies to raise brutish boys and helpless girls. I wanted fully functioning independent adults. Goodness! Did I get that for which I worked!